Ta det röda pillret - blunda inte för några maktordningar

Alla Hjärtans Dag!

2012-02-14T19:33:00.002+03:30

Så. Var det Alla Hjärtans Dag! Jag tillbringar dagen på biblioteket och på sånglektion. Jag älskar böcker (och passar på att läsa lite Elfriede Jelinek dagen till ära!). Jag älskar musik. Två av mina livs stora kärleker. Icke-monogamt. Ord. Musik. Och att förvandla dem till revolutionär politik också genom performances.

Slutmålet är revolution, men delmålet är att få spela Evita i en all drag och trans-uppsättning av musikalen - 2019 när Evita skulle ha fyllt 100. En dröm jag haft sen jag var 9! (Egentligen ville jag ju BLI Evita, men sen insåg jag att det går emot anarkismen och dess principer om inga ledare. I wish never to lead or be led!=koppla gärna det alla hjärtans dag!!):

Och här också - en fin artikel om Amy.

PS I fredags var jag med och vann en quiz för första gången tack vare att alla frågorna var kring olika riot grrrl-kändisar. Äntligen fick jag utdelning för min nördkunskap på området!

PS 2 Roligt:

PS 3 Men allvarligt talat:

We shall by morning inherit the earth. Our foot is in the door.

Random rants and pictures and videos (Again...)

2012-02-14T02:27:00.003+03:30

I'm working on this performance called "Femme faggot whore from hell/The body is not my temple of shame" - first I wanted to call it spoken word burlesque and than i understood the only reason i used burlesque instead of strip was cuz the word burlesque often is considered more acceptable for classist and bourgeouise reasons (I know I know, sometimes there are also other reasons for using the word burlesque), so i opted for spoken word striptease and than speak'n'strip which than morphed into speak'n'streak.

‎"I'm gonna spend the rest of my life researching to see if I'm related to a Salem witch - probably"

Another beautiful multi-dimensional song by Lana Del Rey/Elizabeth Grant, that I totally can relate to. I've always been more committed to freedom/independence than to a partnership. There is a huge bittersweetness to it, because it doesn't make life secure and easy: "That's what happens when you're on your own and you're alright with letting nice things go... In the name of higher consciousness I let the best man I knew go, cuz it's nice to love and be loved but it's better to know what you can know. I said it's nice to love and be loved but I'd rather know what god knows"
Pawn Shop Blues:

One of the reasons I love Lana so much is that she tells multi-dimensional stories in her songs. I'm so tired of one-dimensionalism. Reality is not one-dimensional it is complex. And for those detractors who say that Lana "first tried to be a pop princess and than tried to be more indie" - this is the type of music she was making before she got famous and I do believe she has stayed true to her vision and evolved that vision like all artists do.

11:e februari - bra dag för borgarna dålig dag för oss andra.

2012-02-12T18:47:00.002+03:30

Sylvia Plath, Alexander McQueen och Whitney Houston dog.
Sarah Palin och Jeb Bush föddes.
Margaret Thatcher valdes till partiledare.
Emma Goldman sattes i fängelse.

Sylvia Plath - 49 år sedan idag som hon tog livet av sig.

2012-02-11T21:38:00.007+03:30

Idag är det 49 år sedan Sylvia Plath valde ett abrupt slut på sitt liv genom att stoppa huvudet i ugnen. R.I.P. "Even amidst fierce flames the Golden Lotus can be planted" ♥

Filmen som inleds med följande citat, som berättar om gåvan och faran med att ha driv, ambition och en stark vilja - en vilja att göra så mycket med sitt liv som bara är möjligt:

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” - Sylvia Plath i "The Bell Jar"

Länk till över 300 helt fenomenala citat. The magnificent brilliance mastered inwards put out wards in words ♥

“That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket.”

"The trouble was, I hated the idea of serving men in any way. I wanted to dictate my own thrilling letters.”

‎"Does not my heat astound you and my light? All by myself I am a huge camelia, glowing and coming and going. Flush on Flush. I think I am going up. I think I may rise."

‎"I think that personal experience is very important, but certainly it shouldn't be a kind of shut box and sort of mirror-looking narcissistic experience, I believe it should be relevant and relevant to the larger things, the bigger things, such as Hiroshima and Dachau and so on".

SYLVIA PLATH du betyder, har alltid betytt, sedan jag läste en av dina dikter för första gången när jag var 9, och kommer alltid att betyda så himla mycket för mig. Önskar att du funnit en annan väg än att avsluta livet, men vad du gjorde med ditt 30-åriga liv kommer alltid finnas med mig.

The Earth Without Art is Just "Eh".

Femme Faggot Whore From Hell/The Body is Not my Temple of Shame - Stockholm march 2nd, Berlin march 15th

2012-02-10T18:34:00.003+03:30

"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."

"It’s freeing to know that we have to FIGHT to make great work and a great life and a great death and leave a great legacy and have a good mission, to achieve excellence, a deep deep human revolution, and that art, like life, is WAR."

- Courtney Love

Femme Faggot Whore From Hell/The Body is Not my Temple of Shame - Spoken Word/Speak'n'strip/speak'n'streak - Om femme och sexarbetares rättigheter, samt om mina personliga erfarenheter kring hur sexarbete både kan vara en positiv, helande och stärkande erfarenhet och/eller en negativ och destruktiv erfarenhet, beroende på vem det är som gör det, positions- och erfarenhetsmässigt, och vilken form av sexarbete det är - men att stigmatisering och viktimisering av sexarbetare är djupt problematiskt, för att formulera det diplomatiskt ;-).

2:e mars - Stockholm, Kulturhuset
15:e mars - Berlin, Femme Show

Förhoppningsvis fler datum i framtiden. Kontakta mig om ni vill boka-boka!

Apparently M.I.A. gave the finger at the super bowl half-time show. Apparently this is a big controversy. What so say, USA... I love you M.I.A., it was painful to see you as Madonna's head-cheerleader at the super bowl of all shit places, but you made the best of it of course ♥ "Live fast die young bad girls do it well" on REPEAT ♥

AND I absolutely love this!!! DIVA DELUXE, and the boy dancers sway their hips like no tomorrow and turn into leather gays with pink shawls at the end ♥ In one part the guys act stupid and masculine and she just looks extremely annoyed.

PS 1

PS 2: Så jäääääävla bra, dom driver med dom som driver med henne

"No serious musician would ever change their name, except for maybe Sting, Cher, Elton John, Jay-Z, everyone else in hip-hop and of course Bob Dylan", "In this age of dangerous school bullying you have sent an important message, if you think someone is weird you should criticize them as much as possible".

Courtney Love's brilliance!

2012-02-09T22:50:00.002+03:30

I must post this, cuz I wanna show once again that amongst all her CRAZIES this woman is FUCKING BRILLIANT:

‎"It’s freeing to know that we have to FIGHT to make great work and a great life and a great death and leave a great legacy and have a good mission, to achieve excellence, a deep deep human revolution, and that art, like life, is WAR."

- Courtney Love

(Although life is not always war... Art however is another story, tihihi)

Lesbiskt dödsförklarat par utvisas till Irak!

2012-02-09T19:26:00.002+03:30

Alltså! Svensk migrationspolitik och migrationsverket! Så jävla arg!!! Uppgiven och arg! Fast inte uppgiven. Vi måste göra MOTSTÅND!

Till exempel dags för fler av oss med svenskt medborgarskap att ingå äktenskap för se till att människor får uppehållstillstånd! En av tusen saker som vi måste göra. Motstånd överallt! Vi gör det!

Verklighetens Absolutely Fabulous

2012-02-09T17:53:00.001+03:30

Ibland känns det som om Courtney är en blandning mellan Eddie Monsoon och Patsy Stone från tv-serien Absolutely Fabulous:

In Burning - In Bashing Back - In Blooming @ Smålands Nation, Lund 21 february

2012-02-08T19:23:00.000+03:30

IN BURNING - IN BASHING BACK - IN BLOOMING - A SPOKEN WORD AND
PERFORMANCE ART-MUSICAL BY ALEXANDER ALVINA CHAMBERLAND

”Those who have suffered understand suffering and thereby extend their
hand, the storm which brings harm also makes the grass grow fertile” –
Patti Smith

”Sometimes all reflective human beings struggle with feelings of
emptiness and everything being meaningless. Does the realization of deep
oppression and all the darkness in the world require suicide? No, it
requires revolt!” – Quote from the play

A personal account on processing being raped in a society that says it
will ruin your life and regaining – and gaining new – strength. Through
yourself, through support, through solidarity, through SCREAMING,
through activism. Riot Grrrl meets queerfemme-inist performance art
meets dark musical. Featuring music by Bikini Kill, PJ Harvey, Le Tigre,
Hole, Christina Aguilera, TLC, Nina Simone, Diamanda Galas, L7, Amy
Winehouse and CocoRosie. The production is 70 minutes long and is in
English. Co-director Angie Negin Rad. Photo: Idios.

* trigger warning since the play features the reenactment of a sexual
assault

ABOUT THE PERFORMER:

Alexander Alvina Chamberland is 25 years old and lives in Sweden, but
is born and raised in San Francisco, California. Alexander is an
anarchist and queerfeminist leftist-activist, poet, performance artist
and writer. They completed their bachelor in gender studies at Lunds
University in the spring of 2011.

Alexander is co-founder of The Queertopia Festival and has had
article’s publicized in many of Sweden’s largets newspapers (DN,
Aftonbladet, Svenska Dagbladet, Göteborgs Posten and Sydsvenska
Dagbladet etc) and has taken part in tv- and radio-programs like Lantz i
P1, the sex show Ligga med P3, Studio Ett, Generation Z, SVT Debatt,
Aktuellt and SVT:s morning program, where they once arrived dressed as a
Black Swan. They have performed in Berlin, San Francisco, Malmö,
Toronto, Copenhagen, Stockholm and Amsterdam.

*****************************************************

PRICE: 40 SEK
TIME: 19.00
PLACE: SMÅLANDS NATION

Smålands Nation | 40 kr | 19.00 | Inget student-ID krävs

Femme-revolutionen fortsätter!

2012-02-07T21:13:00.003+03:30

Nu har cirka 5 000 pers sett på "Shit People Say To Femmes" på bara en dryg vecka. Vi har gjort en bra grej!

Och Liz Phair skriver bra "Why Lana Del Rey scares the boys rock club"

En anna bra grej är Femme-zinen "Dressed Like That" i Berlin, som jag har varit med och skrivit i. Den går att läsa på internet nu, häääär. Och den 15:e mars är det release-fest för den hel-tyska och den hel-engelska versionen. Då blir det performance-fest och jag ska köra ett performance som heter "Femme faggot whore from hell/The body is not my temple of shame". Kör den även i Stockholm den 2:e mars på Kulturhuset. Kul-Kul!!

Och så avslutningsvis:

Sometimes it feels like the only alternative to victimization is cynicism, but it isn’t. The only alternative to cynicism is RESISTANCE.

2012-02-06T17:28:00.005+03:30

Total asshole-ism:

I’ve been thinking alot about this song lately. The past year it has felt like assholes have been trying to set some sort of record in sexually harassing me in different situations and it has taken me a long time to fully analyze and politicize what it is about, feminininity, masculinity, slut-shaming, slut=consent is not necessary, taking up space etc. etc. And this song: ”Respect is just a minimum”, ”And you wonder why women hate men” and the battle against cynicism ”Don’t be a hard rock, when you really are a gem”. Sometimes it feels like the only alternative to victimization is cynicism, but it isn’t. The only alternative to cynicism is RESISTANCE.

RESISTANCE a word I can't say without getting giddy like a school girl who see's Justin Bieber IRL. And it's 2012 and we are rising and resisting on an all levels individually turning into collectively #MoscowEgyptOccupyRevolutionIt'sAllGottaChangeIt'sAllGonnaChange

2012 is the revolution (M.I.A. could do the whole soundtrack for it!) not the apocalypse, but if it was here is the soundtrack: Born to Die & National Anthem - Lana del Rey, Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve, Where is my mind - The Pixies, I wanna know what love is - Julie Ruin, Atrocities - Antony & The Johnsons The Last Living Rose - PJ Harvey, The Greatest - Cat Power, Fever 103 - Sylvia Plath.

Personal landmarks.

2012-02-05T15:24:00.000+03:30

Singing along to this song when I was 12 is my first memory of actively understanding that my gender identity didn't fit with my assigned gender. So everytime I hear it I feel a strange mixture of liberation and anxiety. Mostly liberation ♥ Sure it's a stupid pop song, BUT Meow!

But really, seeing this movie was a true life-changer ♥ Magical Revolution. The revolution IS magical. This movie awakens, empowers and makes you FEEL and most of all FEEL ALIVE!!! GAAAH ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Because these moments of magic are to be felt and savoured. The beauty of finding a new deep-level connection is so innocent and so raw - it floors me everytime and has me skipping home filled with endorphins that I know can and will last me through a full life-time ♥. Darkness NEVER beats that.

=I'm talking bout all types of connections whether physical attraction is involved or not. They are all of equal worth to me. ♥

Motstånd: Överklassafari, Pussy Riot och Abolish the prison system!

2012-02-04T19:59:00.001+03:30

Alltså Kristdemokraten gillar inkomstspridning (läs klyftor) och vill gärna se mer av dem. Representanten från Allt åt alla äger honom.

Och så blir han ägd IGEN:

Och så får bandet Pussy Riot och deras feministiska och anarkistiska motstånd i Ryssland mig att känna mig lycklig som en liten skol flicka - En Riot School Grrrrl.

Och sist men inte minst borde det här få er att förstå varför fängelsesystemet borde avskaffas:

Lana del Reys nya album & the art of rising from the ashes

2012-02-03T21:02:00.007+03:30

Nu har Lana Del Rey släppt sitt nya album. Den är himla bra. Gillar framförallt Born to die, Off to the races, National Anthem, Carmen, Summertime Sadness och inledningen till "Without You": "Everything I want I have, money, notoriety and rivieras, I even think I found god in the flash bulbs of the pretty cameras"

"He loves me the way I roll like a rolling stone" "In fact he says it's what he may like about me, the way that I do everything on my own"

The Art of rising from the ashes like the Phoenix. It is one of the most beautiful experiences in the human existence. Our tragedies, our scars, our smoldering wreckage, our disentitlement. To Live Through This and Never Go Hungry Again - We Will Rise.

Do not mess with the love of the tiger mother!!!

I lördags var det en person som sa "jag trodde att du var celibatbög eftersom du hatade män" - roligaste grejen jag fått höra på länge ;-) Jag var tvungen att ha sex med en kille den kvällen bara för att motbevisa. Och det gjorde jag. Det intressanta var att han hade exakt samma födelsedatum (17e oktober 1989) som personen som jag har känslor för i Oakland har... Jag är inte en sån som tror på tecken, men... åhh. Det var ett tag sedan jag kände den här typen av saknad för en kille. Om 7 veckor ses vi igen och vi får se vad som utvecklas ur vår connection.

PS Jag hatar inte alla män, när jag någon gång kläckt ur mig "jag hatar män" så menar jag det metaforiskt. Men ja, det är sällan jag connectar med vita straighta cis-snubbar.

PS 2: Den här videon får mig att längta så efter APRIL och New York, walking the city streets by the riverside all night, riding the subway all night - writing, writing, writing. #total dedication to politics and creativity & creative politics.

"I chose to go there cuz I knew it would be a huge shake up in my own life and for my writing", "It gave me a huge injection of energy and a great feeling of capability and strength personally which than translated into writing", "It doesn't ever stop so all the usual routines and structures we follow get blown out of the window - from that such new things come out", "Ice queen, daughter of darkness, strapping rock'n'roll amazon, man-hating axe-wielding cow from hell"

Latinamerika - enda del av världen där ojämlikheten minskar

2012-02-02T19:20:00.003+03:30

Den här artikeln är viktig och förtjänar att ha ett helt blogginlägg bara för sig själv. Läs den och lär och inspireras.

"Liknande fläckar av en ”revolution inom revolutionen” breder ut sig överallt. I Brasilien och Paraguay driver jordockupanter hela samhällen efter kommunitära, direktdemokratiska principer. I Venezuela och Argentina sköter radikala folkrörelser daghem, skolor och högskolor enligt Freires ”befrielsepedagogik”, under egen kontroll men med statliga resurser. Venezuela har infört arbetardemokrati i ett elbolag med 10 000 anställda, med vald chef och råd bland de anställda."

A summary of problems with 2nd wave rad-feminism

2012-02-02T18:43:00.006+03:30

Some asshole posted this as a comment to something I'd written on trans-issues. Is this supposed to be clever? Over-simplified anyone? Yes, we live in a patriarchal society, but we also live in a racist, heterosexist, transphobic, ableist, classist society etc. Get that into your head and understand that some women do experience priviledge, lots of it, especially if you are white, heterosexual, cis, able-bodied, middle/upper class etc. etc. And yes cis-priviledge does exist just as white priviledge, straight priviledge, male priviledge etc - work on it instead of using a one-sided victimization rhetoric.

And than I made the mistake of reading the full blog and the comments (click on the link to see a bigger version of the picture I linked - I don't quite know how). It turned my anger ratio for the day into overdrive. It contains everything that makes me understand that I have more common with some non-feminists than with these 2nd wave radfeminists: Extreme transphobia, complete disregard of racism, against all porn, anti-BDSM, stigmatizing sex workers, no class analysis - everything boils down to cis-women being the most oppressed in all situations. I'm like all "Feminists unite" and than I read this type of shit and I'm like WAIT, I don't wanna be near these arrogant and ignorant people, whether they define themselves as feminists or not..

Or as Samantha comments on the blog:

"Trans people face discrimination, and possibility of violence, death, alienation etc. every day. Yes, cis women and men are sort of trapped into gender boxes, but so are trans people. Not only that, but they then have to break out of that box and not only deal with facing the things expected of them because of their gender, but have to deal with that in even more extremes in some cases to “pass.” Just because someone is female does not mean they are not privileged for being cis. Think of all the shit that trans people (women and men) have to deal with that cis people (women and especially men) do not. Also: Trans women are women. You think that womanhood is really only defined by genitalia and sex organs? You’re just going to ignore all the trans women who hated going through puberty? Who killed themselves or were killed because people wouldn’t accept their gender? Also, it’s great how people are complaining about trans people “defining female” while at the same time trying to define what being female is in order to exclude trans people."

This shouldn't be so fucking hard to understand and embrace:

Thoughts on victimization

2012-02-02T02:33:00.001+03:30

The issue is a bit complex and I am not entirely anti-victim, but I have a critical stance to it. When it comes to other people victimizing somebody/a group it is degrading and leaves them with barely any agency. When it comes to victimizing ones self it's a bit more tricky - i'd rarely recommend anybody to tell somebody else to stop victimizing themself, however in general, when somebody is constantly victimizing themself I take it as a warning signal. Victimization can be legitimate but it can also be used by some people as an excuse for manipulation and not being held accountable for their actions. I've seen this happen many times. And to be honest never was I such an asshole as I was in the 6 months after being raped, because I thought I had the right to be an asshole. I didn't and I'm glad I figured that out and seriously, with all love and respect, for your own and everybody's sake it's better to strive towards being a survivor and not a victim, even if it's not always easy - and I am well aware that I am speaking both from positions of priviledge and positions of oppression and I know that I can't say anything about any individuals processing of oppressive bullshit. I'm talking on a structural level.

PS Fina Isabelle Ståhl skrivit sjukt intressant om ångest och existens. Isabelle Ståhls artiklar är förresten alltid läsvärda.

Bra artikel om klassbegreppet och överklassafarin (Överklassafarin är en av årets bästa grejer!)

Maria-Pia Boëthius skriver klockrent om mediemakten kopplat till Juholt och bristen på kritik mot alliansen.

Good Buy invincibility.

2012-01-31T23:20:00.000+03:30

Two buildings
Not built to shift or sift with wind
Nor withstand a 767 at 440 mph
Oh you symbols!
A phallus
High up in the air
Watching the world
Supporting chants of: USA USA USA
Making your claim to own own own
YOU DO NOT DO! YOU DO NOT DO!
I’m sorry!
YOUR ALARM IS NOT WORKING!
You try to call 911
It is off the hook.
It is burning
It can not stand this hot stuff.
You did not plan for an air attack
Did it go?
It can not
It was always viagrially up
Constantly fucking for world domination
Down boy! Down boy! Down boy!
A small dog acting as a big dog
With your habit of taking in all that H20
And giving back only CO2
How could you?
Why no guilt about it?
A child would know!

This can not go on!
Not jumping for joy
Wanting to fall first
It is all falling down
Watch it fall.
Oh baby, Watch it all fall.
Killing 2 752 worlds
It’s not right
But do not say it is unfair
10 000 gallons was just a drop in that Atlantic fury
Killing Millions with napalm and atom bombs
Atoms split crush burn fall.
For so long:
Sold at 9:59
Sold at 10:28
Good Buy invincibility.
Good Buy.
Communication through bombs
Acid rain
Daddy is starting his 4th of July parading
But do us a favour
And cut him off from Washington.

An exercise in writing a text without the letter "E" in it ♥

About hate

2012-01-31T00:19:00.000+03:30

When being met by hatred in large proportions you are forced to remember what really is important in life. It is the small gift amongst all the bullshit. Take what you can take from the situation, remember to know yourself, proceed with great caution in raising the stakes (rarely recommended, but things are not black or white), learn and grow in the ways you can learn and grow from the experience, and dump the rest off at the roadside.

All of us who have trouble shutting up about things are gonna get massively hated upon several times in our life time... Unfourtanetely we have to get used to it - thin-skinned or not, we gotta brace ourselves.

I also do not believe in hating people. Sure I've said "I hate so and so" several times, but I mean it is as a metaphor. Don't get me wrong I'm not some hippie or christian who is all moralistic and like "hating is wrooong". I do believe in hating certain actions, or certain opinions or certain institutions - for example the military, cuz I don't believe the military ever can become good. With human beings however I want to believe that everybody can learn from their mistakes and mishaps and "become good" (whatever good means). I also do not believe that people should be defined or judged solely by their mistakes and mishaps, even though some of these mishaps ofcourse are more serious than others.All of this is also relevant for many radical activist spaces I've been in - too often too eager to point the finger, analyze things in black or white-way, and have a knee-jerk reaction. There is too little reflection and the politics suffer from it and utopia drifts far away.

You look like Lady Gaga (as a drag king!)

2012-01-30T16:46:00.004+03:30

När jag är osminkad och inte har fixat håret ser jag alltså ut som Lady Gaga som drag king.

Daisy Duck och Shit MANarchists say.

2012-01-29T19:15:00.002+03:30

ALLTSÅ. Älskar Daisy Duck!!!!

Shit people say to femmes!

2012-01-27T15:10:00.003+03:30

Up and running. Watch it! Spread it! =)

"Because we, as femmes, refuse to be objectified or ignored.
Because we refuse to accept a society or a community that says that masculine=good, serious, strong, superior and femme=bad, stupid, weak, submissive.
As queerfemme-inists we challenge a system that blindly ordains power to masculine attitudes and attributes."

Cr-Cr-Cr-Cr-Creative HIGH!

2012-01-26T15:35:00.000+03:30

Som ni som följt den här bloggen ett tag redan vet så hamnar jag ibland i extrema CR-CR-CR-CR-CREATIVE HIGH'S =). Och då skriver jag ett sånt där skitlångt episkt blogginlägg, som spretar åt alla håll och kanter och innehåller länkar och klipp till allt möjligt intressant. En sådan period är jag inne i just nu. Men jag lovar att jag använder min kreativitet till mer än bara blogginlägg just nu: Arbetar med en performance vid namn "FEMME FAGGOT WHORE FROM HELL" som jag ska köra i Stockholm och Berlin i mars, om någon vecka kommer en artikel om sexarbetares rättigheter att publiceras, jag arbetar på en artikel om sexuella trakasserier mot femmes i allmänhet och manligt könade femmes i synnerhet, har börjat en skrivarkurs och sist men inte minst spelar jag och Therese idag in en "Shit people say to femmes"-video =).

Och så alla mina spretiga tankar som sprids här:

Fick en av mina dikter publicerade i webbtidningen Miteroi.

Yelah skriver jättebra om problemen med hur kommersiella medier arbetar och kopplar det till Juholt "Journalistiken segrade över Juholt"

Möllan.nu skriver om det senaste årets 10 största genusgrodor. SKITBRA! Skämta skiten ur dom!!!!!!! Deras kommentarer förtjänar inte att tas på allvar. "Starta manskanal" etc. ♥ STOR HUMOR ♥

FIONA APPLE SLÄPPER NYTT ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

ÄLSKAR AMY. ÄLSKAR AMY ÄN MER HÄR:

Och så lite random ramblings på engelska:

My heart is weak, receptive to everything, but my will is strong and overcomes it all.

I could not sustain any self-destructive habit for long, I hurt too much everytime I run myself over, I wouldn't last long.

The mask of restraint never quite fit well and than one day it fell off and shattered into a million pieces and I knew from that day forward that it would not be easy because the meeting between realness and reality is not meant to be.

When I'm femmed up it doesn't matter if I go to the boys or the girls room, people stare at me anyways.

Being hit by a wall hurts ten times more than actually being hit. Especially for sensitive bitches who don’t know the meaning of the word Aloof or Ignore. If the path to happiness includes being aloof and ignoring all kinds of stuff than count me out. Imma find another way.

Alice Walker - Possessing the secret of joy begins with "When the axe came into the forest, the trees said the handle is one of us" ends with "RESISTANCE IS THE SECRET OF JOY! it says in huge block letters. There is a roar as if the world cracked open and I flew inside. I am no more. And satisfied"

I’ve always been more of a fighter than a person who lays back relaxes and enjoys life. I think it’s a good priority, however the problem is that the last year I haven’t allowed myself to just lay back and relax and enjoy life for like even a second – everything had to have a purpose.

Oh Cinderella, they aren’t whores like me!.....

I have more in common with many people who don’t define as feminists than I do with big fans of second wave-feminist theory. Why?: Transphobia, protecting the gender binary/anti-queer, anti-femme, stigmatization of sex workers, against all porn, turning a blind eye to other power dynamics (especially racism), robbing women of their agency (especially in the debate on rape) etc. etc. etc.

(I wrote this for Valerie Solanas facebook-page): When I said that Sex is a hang-up I didn't mean that Sex is bad. I meant that it's fucked up that we live in a society where we learn that the only place where we can be truly free and uninhibited is in bed, when we could be skirting with uninhibition, freedom, ecstacy and euphoria in so many places, dancing half-naked on tables not caring who the fuck is watching, thrashing around to riot grrrl-music, screaming our lungs out, singing our lungs out, making art, taking over the stage, performing our asses off, enjoying the experience of emotional catharcis, breaking down, breaking furniture, breaking norms, breaking borders, burning all the shit we don't need, throwing big rocks at things we don't want (big banks, big boys, big cars, big shops etc.) writing and saying exactly what is going on inside, laughing till we cry and crying till we laugh, causing revolutionary trouble all the time everywhere, breaking bottles, grooving, shaking people up so they won't be half-dead, letting go of fear and shame, creating, loving, being completely open to ourselves and to others, AND fucking like there's no tomorrow. It's when fucking becomes the obsession numero uno, our big hang-up, that we become non-creative idiotic dullards, duuuuh, I'm not some fucking Jesus daddies girl!

Once when a masculine guy tried to hit on me I said "Sorry, I’m only with other femmes". It is not even true, cuz that would be kinda closed-minded. But I am so tired of masculinity roles and the expectation that I as a femme should get off on masculinity…

RAGE ON:

‎And today "Shit people say to femmes" is being recorded ♥ Hardest part for me - pretending to be butch, which is not the same as pretending to be strong, I've been a strong femme since I was ten thank you very much ♥

DON'T FUCK WITH FEMMES FELLAS! THIS AIN'T OUR FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO!! AND also, being weak is far from always a negative!!!!!

One of the worst movies ever with one of the funniest title tracks "So wipe that smile off your face, you better watch out for the straights"

HOPE, LIGHT: Tahrir Square overflowing into Kasr El Nil Bridge, Maspero, and all other adjacent areas
Millions in Tahrir Square now.

Darkness, despair, global capitalism, priviledge, it's all gotta change, it's all gonna change.

O'Sanity - Yoko Ono. Discovered this nice little song thanks to the film "Don't need you - a herstory of riot grrrl"

Another day with the male gaze

2012-01-23T16:02:00.002+03:30

Another day with the male gaze

Anger and anxiety
Why do you let it affect you?
Over-sensitive little bitch!
Why do you not just embrace it?
They are attracted to you
This is not a bad thing
But what does this attraction bring
Power?
I am not naive
They have no interest in my mind.
They prefer it hollow
Also the emotional sensitivity must exit
I am not a whole person.
It is only my body they want
And if they have me cornered
They will not hestitate to take take take take take
It is not fear I feel
No fear shall not come around here
To wrap me in its paralyzing sheet
It wants to create a ghost out of me
It shall not succeed
Clearly you do not see
That i belong to me
And the politeness is a distant memory
It is not you I want to open up to
The life of the lioness yelling at the lion
She is tired of doing all the work
And it is only for work that I would allow this!
But he doesn't feel my resistance
He gropes without asking
And I open my mouth to shout
Replaying a tiring story
Seemingly it has no end
But one day I will be 34
And the gaze
The groping hands
Will be no more
You are addicted
You are going to miss it
Take it as a compliment!
I know you like the attention
Another pretty femme with a so-called problem
He just does it cuz he likes you
He likes me
He likes me
He likes me
I am empty
But he likes me.

PS En till fantastisk och snart spelar jag och Therese in en "Shit they say to femmes":

PS 2

Albert Camus quotes!

2012-01-22T15:09:00.002+03:30

Most white straight cis-male philosophers are overrated, but Albert Camus actually isn't. Read these quotes, they might just change your life a little bit ;-)

“To feel absolutely right is the beginning of the end.”  

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” 

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the essence of being.

Humans must live and create. Live to the point of tears.

Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.

The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.

The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.

The myth of unlimited production brings war in its train as inevitably as clouds announce a storm.

The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.

The only real progress lies in learning to be wrong all alone.

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.

The society based on production is only productive, not creative.

The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a person’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.

To assert in any case that a man must be absolutely cut off from society because he is absolutely evil amounts to saying that society is absolutely good, and no-one in his right mind will believe this today.

To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't everything.

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.

Your successes and happiness are forgiven you only if you generously consent to share them.

Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.

Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. This is why any authentic creation is a gift to the future.

Those who do not move do not notice their chains.

2012-01-21T21:54:00.005+03:30

I övrigt ber jag om ursäkt för att min blogg på senare tid efterliknat min facebook-feed så mycket. DOCK kommer det snart en dikt som heter "Another day with the male gaze". Annars sammanfattar mina senaste statusuppdateringar en hel del tankegångar jag haft på sistone:
-----------------
Planning an article on sexual harassment/groping/touching up of "male-bodied" femme's with focus on queer and gay spaces. I'z sick'n'tired of this shit and of getting my anger out by yelling at and lecturing individual men, when this issue is in deep and dire need of a structural manifesto! FEMME RIOT!!!!!
-----------------
The fight for revolution is always ongoing and must be open to every state of being, feeling and doing in the inner and outer worlds - all the darkness and all the light and all the shades of grey in between. Do not lock an emotion up. Do not fear facing the darkness in the world. You need to face it to fight it, but do not be consumed by it (cuz that leaves you only two alternatives - death or cynicism) - and at the same time don't be blind and only choose to see the light and selfishly bask in that priviledge. And remember that everything is not black or white (or even grey!!!), but let red - the color of flames, the color of our heart, our blood, our passion, our lips - in first.
----------------
Thrashing and parading around to Riot Grrrl wearing only underpants and stilettos and than pouring red wine over my whole body and than slamming my body down and winding it all around on the floor to spice girls=YES, YES, YES I would say it was a good night ♥
----------------
‎"Madonna does her yoga for the buffness, I do it so I can handle my crazies" - Courtney Love. And I second that, just did yoga in the bath-tub for an hour and feel calmer than I have since August. Will do this regularly, and the crazy I was last night was the free, ecstatic, productive, ready for revolution-kind not the dark kind that gets me into trouble and impressive lows of emotional distress. My self is recovered, not dissolved ♥ Now time for political documentaries! IT'S SATURDAY!!!!
---------------
Many good points in this article "How liberated are we?: Questioning Queer hook-up culture". This isn't about being sex-negative or saying that hooking up is bad - it's just criticizing certain structures regarding sexuality in queer circles - objectifying and/or de-humanizing people you hook up with etc.: "Many of the politics we spend so much of our time and effort trying to initiate in the world seem to vanish when it comes to sex. Hooking up in radical communities, I have found, is still run through with off-balance power dynamics, machismo and hierarchy."

De-humanizing as in even if the meeting is only for sex - there has to be consent about that that is all it's about AND you still have to be aware that the person you're having sex with is a whole human being. Otherwise we start mistreating each other in really un-radical ways. I'm totally not a saint here, I've experienced both sides of this type of behaviour plenty of times in the past but I don't want to be a part of it anymore.

Tre nya "Shit.....says"

2012-01-20T17:49:00.002+03:30

"We turned the lens toward ourselves as a way to exhibit how rampant transmasculine-centrism, radical queer snobbery/jargon and extreme anti-lesbian sentiment show up in young white 'radical queer' communities. Let's continue to build inclusive communities of resistance while remembering our many herstories!"

This one's great, even challenges heteronormativity in the narrative of rape, however as a survivor of sexual assaults who is very vocal about it and has heard hundreds of responses I do wish they had added some more patronizing sympathy comments, i.e. situations where you end up having to hug the sobbing person you just told about it because they feel sooo sorry for you. Believe me, at times those responses can be much harder to handle.

Uppträder i Berlin imorgon!

2012-01-20T03:36:00.002+03:30

Imorgon uppträder jag på Sudblock i Berlin tillsammans med bandet La Tourette. Jag kör min spoken word "Daughter of Isis" mashed up med "Born Bad" från Natural Born Killers.

SÅ: text om död + Born Bad = Born to Die... tihihi. Jag är van vid att mina performances är explosiva, men den här texten är supersuper introvert så ALL karisma måste komma från ögonen, vilket innebär att jag satsar på Lana del rey's intensiva blick på tronen med de två tigrarna ♥

STOPPA TVÅNGSSTERILISERINGAR AV TRANSPERSONER

2012-01-18T19:20:00.002+03:30

Det här är ju helt sjukt. Att skriva under den här namninsamlingen är det minsta du bör göra. Helst mer.

Fina klipp och intressanta länkar - NINA SIMONE

2012-01-18T18:01:00.003+03:30

Intressant artikel om rasism inom hipsterkretsar.

Nina Simone säger så himla mycket viktigt i det här klippet. Detta är liksom exakt vad jag känner att jag vill med mitt liv, min politik, mitt skrivande, mina performances:

Hon levde på en så högt utvecklad emotionell nivå och är ett av de bästa exemplen på någon som har använt konst och musik som ett redskap för politisk aktivism, särskilt antirasism och feminism:

PS New word of the day "Machist", rhymes with "Fascist" and describes the rule of the macho.

Husby Träff Ockuperat!

2012-01-17T17:41:00.002+03:30

Så JÄVLA BRA! PEOPLE POWER!!!

PS:

‎"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Shit White Girls Say... To Brown (Desi/Indian) Girls

2012-01-16T17:05:00.000+03:30

Ytterligare ett fantastiskt klipp som ifrågasätter och slår ned på hegemonin. HEJA:

MÖRKRET...

2012-01-13T02:40:00.002+03:30

Soldater från USA i Afghanistan. Det blir inte mycket mörkare än så här. Hur är det ens möjligt för en människa att göra så här? Vad är det som händer i soldaternas hjärnor medan de gör det?

GOD NATT!!

Kajsa Ekis Ekman och transfobin.

2012-01-11T21:26:00.002+03:30

‎"En transsexuell kan vilja att man kallar honom för kvinna, utan att ha någon som helst insikt i kvinnosaken" - Kajsa Ekis Ekman i Varat och Varan.

Alltså. Så mysigt. Varför blir inte fler människor arga på det här uttalandet? Det säger rätt mycket om hennes ideologiska utgångspunkt. Och nu tycker jag om Kajsa Ekis Ekman ännu mindre. Alltså vilken dundertransfob, som inte fattar sina cis-privilegier över huvud taget och absolut inte respekterar vilket pronomen en transkvinna vill använda, nejnej, Kajsa Ekis tar sig rätten att kalla transkvinnor för "honom".

Och om hon med kvinnosaken menar rent politiskt så har hon naturligtvis rätt, men varför peka ut just transkvinnor när detta ju förstås gäller även för cis-kvinnor. Bara för att en tillhör en grupp behöver en inte ha politiska insikter...

#KAJSA EKIS EKMAN YTTERLIGARE EN CIS-PERSON MED NOLL INSIKT OM TRANSFRÅGOR ELLER HUR DET ÄR ATT VARA TRANSPERSON SOM ÄNDÅ SKA HÅLLA PÅ OCH UTTALA SIG
#GAMMAL TRANSFOBISK 70-TALSFEMINISM SOM BORDE KASTATS I DEN IDEOLOGISKA SOPKORGEN FÖR... JUST DET... 40 ÅR SEDAN!!!

Lioness yelling at Lion

2012-01-11T19:00:00.001+03:30

Någon kom in på min blogg genom att googla på "Lioness yelling at Lion". De kom definitivt till rätt ställe ♥

Nej till Kött, Ja till Ani Difranco och PJ Harvey

2012-01-11T18:37:00.002+03:30

Alltså, när människor konfronteras med vart kött egentligen kommer ifrån så blir det så här:

High femme with an empowering guttural voice ♥ I WANNA SING ALONG ALL DAY LONG! This is PJ Harvey when she had just gone from butch to super femme Drag Queen-style. PJ Harvey is a master of everything. Everyone was born naked and the rest is just drag and everytime I hear "Meet Ze Monsta" I just wanna take all my clothes off and dance on a table:

A fantastical femme-rant and also the best description of me ever in song:

"The one person who really knows me best, says I'm like a cat, yeah the kind of cat you can't just pick up and throw into your lap... And now I am prowling through the backyard and I am hiding under the car, I've gotten out of everything I've gotten into so far. I eat when I am hungry and I travel alone, outside the glow of the house is where I feel the most at home, but in the window you sometimes appear and your music is faint in my ears"

Shit that... Say to...

2012-01-10T18:45:00.005+03:30

Jag älskar hur de här klippen synliggör diskriminering i vardagen genom språk och attityder - Och det är detta som är hegemoni. För en vecka sedan såg jag Shit white girls...say to black girls och postade det här på bloggen och sedan dess har det kommit flera andra klipp:

And here's a song about shit people say to gender variants:

Vänsterpartiet vill förbjuda bemanningsföretagen!

2012-01-10T18:34:00.002+03:30

Förra helgen hade Vänsterpartiet kongress. De tog väldigt många bra beslut - satsa mer på klimatfrågan, prioritera 6 timmars arbetsdag, intern partiskatt, rotationsprincip om max 3 mandatperioder i riksdagen . Min favorit är dock att de vill förbjuda bemanningsföretagen.

Black swan Black widow Black cat Black sheep Black beauty.

2012-01-08T19:09:00.001+03:30

Ghastly Place!
I will never come back here again!
I have climbed this hill for the last time!
Why return to the memories of someone big
Picking on someone small?
I do not do I do not do
All my travelling backwards!
The storm the drama
They have a home in me
I am not elevator music!
Neither will I ever be
Contained or restrained
Which just may mean I am also broken
Split into a few distinct selves
All of them outsiders.

The Black swan believes in love
And sees resistance as the secret of joy
A 2012 new year revolution
Is her only new years resolution
Oh all the love, the compassion, the anger, the affection, the happiness, the humour, the hope, the solidarity, the exaltation
That lives inside of her
Does it not astound you?
When the black widow takes over.
Filled with Contempt for people who listen to Amy Winehouse & Nina Simone like it was background music!
Corpses! Corpses! Corpses!
Hiding behind your one-dimensional masks!
We are not from the same emotional galaxy!
Only Diamanda Galas is good enough for me!
It all turns dark and apocalyptical
Driven forward by stubborn bitter spite against everything that hurts me and the world
She does not prefer to slit her wrists
She’d rather kick a telephone booth to the ground
It’s only when it’s completely demolished
That she may be so high on the violence
To use the broken glass to harm herself
The energy and adrenaline is always enough to keep on going.
Wearing my everything on my sleeve.
And the next day I mop up my blood from the floor like nothing happened
Thank god I don’t have carpets.
For what it's worth - sylvia plath & I soulmates alone naked in the pouring the rain...

What at the top of the rollercoaster is a black swan
Turns to a black widow down at the bottom
Black red – Same colors
Both outsiders
One tackles it with love
The other with hate
In the shadow at the bottom
The black widow is hungry
And swallows my men whole
Without even tasting them first.

You think I’m cute
That’s what lured you in
But my personality is just too big
And the fact that I don’t apologize for it
Unacceptable
I always thought that my personality was 1 million times more interesting than my looks and radiating first impression
None of the boys I’ve dated have agreed
I scare boys
If it was an olympic sport.
I’d be a fierce contender for the gold medal
Me – neck and neck with Fiona Apple and Courtney Love
Us sewer rats
We always manage to survive.

All you want is the fuck and the fun
And even that in the light not the dark
But if that includes me showing you my scars
You just turn away
Cuz that was not a fun way to play
We like our ”other woman” simple and sexy.
So, Oh Baby, you love my wild-side
And nevermind the complexities that it brings with it
It was just more than you bargained for
So drop me off on the roadside
Drop me off on the roadside

And when I say I don’t fear psychological violence – it’s because I’m too smart
And when I say I don’t fear sexual violence – it’s because I’ve been through so much of it so what is left to fear?
And when I say I do fear physical violence – it’s because at the end of the day I want to live and not die

I’m intense enought without this
With it my head is a zoo
So I retell myself to devote my life to art, revolution and creativity
I look at PJ Harvey and pluck my latest obsession from my chest
It is for the best
They all want me served on a silver platter
And I am a real dirty dish
But it’s okay
Cuz it’s inside of my own heart that I have a home and I love my heart and it’s zesty passion and it’s fiery red walls and it’s ways of raising hell all over town
Riding the roller-coaster
Putting all their bourgeouise rules to waste
Even though you always seem to be too much
I know all you are is free and real
It is you who gives me the strength to stand up to a policeman and say ”talk to the hand” (Every cop is a criminal and all us sinners are saints)
At the end of the day I know that the real reason that I’ve never really searched for true love is because I’ve already found it.
The black swan The black widow The black cat The black sheep The black beauty.
The lolita and the tough guy who get along fine when listening to riot grrrl together
The tragedy the triumph the happiness the anger the sadness – everything right there on the sleeve.
It is never anything but
pretty from afar
Like a dark star.
And the love.
What did it bring?
An open wound!
An infection!
Marble heavy.
But even the most irrational heart
Survives the steepest rollercoaster
If it has the strongest will.

PS Ani Difranco has an album out the 17th. And Lana del rey the 30th. Good month for musica!!!!

PS 2 This is beautiful:

Bra saker och en dålig sak

2012-01-07T18:16:00.001+03:30

2012 New Years Resolution=2012 New Year Revolution. Så börjar det. Occupy Oakland stänger ned City Hall.

En annan bra sak är den här konserten med Courtney Love's band Hole. Disaster? Va? Dom fattar inte. "Every cop is a criminal and all you sinners saints. You can just call me COURTNEY. I'm in need of NO RESTRAINT. So if you meet me have some courtesy, have some sympathy, have som taste, use all your well-learned politesse, I'LL LAY YOUR BOURGEOUISE RULES TO WASTE!!!! Courtney you are my Ms. Puta" Jag gjorde fyra perfekt formade hål i ett bord när jag ställde upp mitt ben på dem i röda högklackade skor, medelst sång, head-bangande, ur kontroll dans till Hole's Skinny Little Bitch. FUCK, de här klackarna är de bästa vapnen i hela vida vilda världen. #KillerHeels=ALiteralTerm.

Den här är också så jävla välgjord och fantastisk och sann.

Och den här videon. Alla har sett den, MEN jag vill att ni tar er tiden att studera alla hennes rörelser. Hennes kroppspråk är så butch och hon bara utstrålar så mycket självförtroende, kaxighet, kontroll, nonchalans. Och texten är så "vad som komma skall" och det spann ur kontroll - men det här var en sida av Amy som många inte tänker på och det var en av många saker som jag förälskade mig i.

Och titta. Den här artikeln där det hävdas att Amy hade sex med en kvinna och ville ha trekant med hennes flickvän. Åh. Hoppas det är sant.

Och så till den dåliga saken. Den här transfobiska reklamfilmen. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND STAY OUT!!!!

Och tänka sig. Ut slängdes den. Får ej visas på tv i Nya Zeeland.

A femme lionness.

2012-01-06T04:34:00.003+03:30

A very strong kitty purring softly while well aware of its own fangs.
A femme lionness.
It makes no difference if you are femme or masculine
People should be well aware that underneath whatever attributes lies a lion
And that lions are not to be fucked with.
Even the most macho cis-guy isn’t busy trying to decide if it’s a female, male or tranny lion
Cuz he knows it’s a lion so he better run for his life.

Melancholia - and other emotions.

2012-01-04T18:57:00.006+03:30

The day before new years-eve I watched a movie that reflected and mirrored some of my emotions more than most any film I've ever seen. Melancholia.

Justine ♥... The way she panics about her wedding, but is calm about the apocalypse. This is one of the best movies I've ever seen and Justine's way of reacting at the wedding, never before has a film mirrored so well the way I almost always end up feeling at these grand social events where everyone is expected to wear a happy and dignified mask and make proper small talk and smile and laugh, but not too loud. I always end up either wandering off alone or locking myself in the bathroom and staring blankly at myself in the mirror. Looking inwards instead of smiling outwards. Sometimes crying. Just like Justine in this movie. The first time I got a muscle-ache in my smiling muscles was at my graduation - it was no fun, the only thing that felt real and personal was my mother's speech. The rest. It's like it never happened. Because the rest wasn't real, it was just masks.

I love how the movie makes you think what the fuck is wrong with this girl, she is throwing everything away, and in the end she is the sanest one.

Also this reminds me of being spokesperson for Grön Ungdom (especially when she loses her temper and leaves her job at the advertisement agency - and the way she leaves and "throws away her successful career" reminds me the way I felt when I left parliamentary politics, say goodbye to the systems version of what success is). How everything in Miljöpartiet was supposed to be correct and within the boundaries. But I never was. And I tried to keep a straight face about it all, but than one day the mask just broke and I couldn't do it anymore. Besides my political reasons for leaving parliamentary politics (and there are many of them), I also in the long run could never be emotionally balanced and composed enough to do it. And the less I try the closer I get to myself. In parliamentary politics you are taught to DO and not to reflect, to be constructive all the time and never feel. I am a reflective human being and extremely emotional and sensitive - my personality type is the very last one that works well in a world that revolves around representation and putting on a mask of control and composure. And my hope for the world is that no one will ever be forced to play controlled and composed - but it is what capitalism and patriarchy are based upon.

Than again sometimes I feel like it's just me, living on a different emotional planet than most people. It disturbs me when people listen to Amy Winehouse like it was background music. Some people do that with Nina Simone as well. I can't understand them. I often feel that way. Amy and Nina - two emotional beings with no masks and than Nina yells at her audience "IT'S AS IF I AM PLAYING TO CORPSES".

Melancholia made me also realize som things. When it comes to music and literature 2012 will have to have a bit more Ani Difranco, Alice Walker, bell hooks, julie ruin = politics, anger, humor, love, analysis of power dynamics, hope instead of 2011 where I've focused on PJ Harvey, Elfriede Jelinek, Sylvia Plath, Amy Winehouse and Diamanda Galas = GREAT for creativity and my art, I love them and it feeds an important part of me so I'm not saying goodbye, but when it is my main/only source of inspiration everything turns dark and apocalyptical and I find my self sad, angry and almost constantly driven by stubborn bitter spite against everything that hurts me and the world. Shadows are nice, but you gotta be able to see the light in order to appreciate the beauty of the shadows and in order to keep focused on what the goal is here - what we're aiming for. What we will reach. "I fight with love and I laugh with rage - you gotta live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change". The emotions of melancholy, apocalypse etc will always be a part of who I am, but I do not want them to be the emotions that define my being. ♥

I want 2012 to be about "it's better to rise than fade away". About not being able to decide between if I want to be a lolita or a tough guy. So when I listen to Ani Difranco I dance kinda like I'm 50 cent/Jay Z (don't ask me why, it comes natural) and than in the rare event that I listen 50 cent/Jay Z I dance like his background dancers. AND THAN I LISTEN TO RIOT GRRRL AND BOTH THE LOLITA AND THE TOUGH GUYS HEADS EXPLODE AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ♥ =)

And most of all I want it to be about this:

"JUST AS EVERY COP IS A CRIMINAL and all you sinners saints. You can just call me ALVINA - I'm in need of no restraints. So if you meet me have some sympathy, have som courtesy, have som taste, take all your well-learned politeness, I'LL LAY ALL YOUR BOURGEOUISE RULES TO WASTE!!!!"

♥

I must continue reflecting, but I must not poison myself with it.

Pretty Girl With Problems (PGWP)=A trivializing phrase that has me Pretty Pissed.

2012-01-03T23:30:00.012+03:30

Apparently a new catch-phrase has found it's way into the slang dictionary Pretty Girl With Problems (PGWP). And I am Pretty Pissed. And I am a Pretty Femme With Problems. And equating that with being a spoiled brat and creating your own self destructive situations is Pretty Stupid and Very Problematic. This Pretty Femme has a Big Problem with the loads of articles about Lana Del Rey that comment on her conventionally attractive appearance and try to discredit her because of it. The latest in this string of articles is this one "Lana del Rey: Another Pretty Girl With Problems", I'm not gonna analyze the details of the article, cuz that's not my point. My point is to criticize a hypocritical patriarchal society that even creates a phrase called "Pretty Girl With Problems".

First things first. I am a pretty femme genderqueer, this is often times, but not always, equated with being a pretty girl. Sometimes being a pretty femme genderqueer who is male-bodied makes me more oppressed than a pretty cis-girl, sometimes it makes me more priviledged. It's not simple. What I would say however is that the term pretty girl is basically reserved for femmes. Butches may be hot, sexy and what not - but they never, or almost never, get reduced to the pretty girl stereotype that femmes of all genders risk getting reduced to.

And here's where the problems BEGIN. Patriarchal society tells us that women get their main worth from being pretty. So with a patriarchal logic you would think that pretty girls have no problems, cuz they've fulfilled their obligation, the meaning of their life - to be pretty. WHAT MORE COULD THEY WANT??!! One may wonder. And I would answer. For one: We would like to be treated as whole people. If you're conventionally pretty you can't have any problems. If you're sexy, you must be a bimbo etc. etc. This is all bullshit. And when people use these arguments as feminist arguments. I WANT TO KILL THEM. These people who think they are feminists come with bullshit arguments like, Adele=good and talented, cuz she's not conventionally beautiful, Lana del Rey=Bad, she seems talented, but she would have never gotten so far without being conventionally beautiful. And once again what they are doing IS REDUCING WOMEN TO THEIR LOOKS. AND I WANT TO KILL THEM FOR IT!!! ;-) They are doing something very anti-feminist, that is not listening to what a woman has to say, but judging her solely for her looks. This is bad politics. Reallyreally BAD politics.

OF COURSE there is priviledge in being considered pretty, I understand that, you get more attention, you can get certain heads up, certain advantages - but there's two sides to it and there's always a boundary of how far you can go with your looks and when you've come to that boundary your looks start working against you instead of working for you. You start hearing that you would have never made it so far WITHOUT your looks or that you're only liked because of your looks. And this shit is exactly what is happening to Lana Del Rey right now.

Like several times I've performed for 70 minutes and poured my fucking heart out on the stage and thrown it at the audience and some people (not most, thankfully) have the nerve of only commenting on my appearance afterwords, like, "Wow, you're legs are amazing" or "You're so hot, I couldn't take my eyes off of you for the whole show". Am I supposed to take that as a compliment. Did you not listen to the words I've been saying, the political message I've been trying to get across for 70 minutes? Or do I need to hit you on the head with a baseball bat for it to come across?

But to get back to the whole issue of the phrase "Pretty Girls With Problems" (PGWR). For us femmes PRETTY is a backhanded priviledge chockfilled with backhanded compliments of objectification. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I have been groped so many times, Strangers have yelled so many things to me that have made me feel like a piece of meat, I have almost been beat up by guys who have been rejected by me. Umm, duh that I'm on my guard when someone hits on me when I know that I am just one rejection away from risking getting beaten up. Cuz unfourtanetely us pretty femmes/girls hardly ever get hit on by people who actually respect us as whole people. YES, this is a real problem. It's called patriarchy. It's called sexual harrasment. It's called assault. It's called being reduced to our appearance - a piece of meat. It's not pretty. But it sure as hell is a problem.

And than we have the politicized queer world that often shames femmes for being "shallow" and "obsessed with our appearance", when it is they, who with that remark are being shallow and obsessed with appearance. Femme is a gender expression - a gender expression that can be VERY subversive and very empowering and extremely feminist. It is challenging masculinity as THE NORM, and if anything is feminist THAN THAT FUCKING IS. In the queer world a femme is usually either ignored or objectified and it takes a lot of hard work to get past these two categories. You gotta really show them what you're made of when it comes to intelligence and personality and charisma and activism to start hearing something other than how gorgeous, cute or sexy you are. I don't know how many times queers have told me "You are so sexy" and I've been like "Ohhh, guess what I'M SMART AND TOUGH TOOOOOO". I must say however that things are getting better, thanks to us femmes organizing ourselves, but things are not moving nearly fast enough.

And if us pretty femmes/girls have the NERVE of feeling pretty you better believe that we're gonna be shamed once again. People can actually say things like "You seem like you know you're hot" - as if that's a bad thing? As if it's a bad thing to feel comfortable in your own body. OK, it is bad if you treat it like it makes you better and more important as a person. And if you start judging other people by their appearances, but HELLO being comfortable in your own body is a good thing.

That's one of the things I liked about working as a stripper. There were loads of problematic structures, but atleast I didn't have to deal with all the fucking hypocrisy and atleast I never had to apologize for feeling comfortable about my body (And when it comes to lookism and body politics-believe me the modelling industry is 10 TIMES WORSE than the sex industry ever has been).

I've actually heard some people diss performance artists because "you can tell that he/she/they like their body". And it's like. Whatever. Why is that a negative thing? Sure if somebody has a body that happens to be viewed as conventionally hot, it may not be subversive in itself that they are proud of their body, but that doesn't make it negative, it is only fucking negative when it is used as a way to try to exert power over others=i.e. I have a right to show off my body, but you don't cuz your body is not conventionally beautiful. That is when it turns into lookism. It is also problematic to ride on your priviledge and not understand that if you have a conventionally good looking body the road to feeling comfortable in it may not be as tough as it is for others.

I don't like how being seen as pretty since I was 18 has changed my perception of myself. How it for a short period of time gave me an eating disorder. How it made me crave for people to tell me I'm pretty, even if I've always been critical to it and all it's normative beauty standards and THE UTTER BULLSHIT OF IT ALL. How it has me fearing getting older, cuz I'll lose the pretty power. However I'm also equally looking forward to it, and being seen just for what I am inside and not having to deal with being objectified or treated as just pretty. It will be exciting to not even have that as an issue in my life, but I will never forget how it is/was, and hopefully I won't miss it when it's gone. Lookism is fucking bullshit. And yes. Pretty girls and femmes have problems - both personal and structural and often times they are linked cuz the personal is political. There are two sides of the coin. As Ani Difranco sings

"God help you if you're an ugly girl, course too pretty is also your doom".

And last but not least let me quote that article I cited on Lana del Rey:

"It’s definitely different than Courtney Love‘s brand of badness.

The question of the day is: Does Lana Del Rey have any depth at all? Is her bad and insane persona “real”? Or is she just a marketing doll to sell records?"

SO. It kinda sums it all up doesn't it? If you're a pretty girl people will wonder if you have any depth at all - even if you write super emotional songs. They will also think you're fake. And of course just "a doll".

And when it comes to Courtney Love, perhaps my biggest idol of all time, I KNOW what she'd have to say about this shit. And all us femmes who have been objectified again and again stand up in unison and sing along with her "Suck me off, suck me off forever my friend".

And to quote some of my favorite lyrics from Lana Del Rey:

"I'm pretty from afar, like a dark star", "Money is the anthem of success, so before we go out what's your address? Money is the anthem, god you're so handsome, money is the anthem of success."

2012

2011-12-31T19:49:00.001+03:30

2012

Said to be the year of Apocalypse
Foreboding collective death.
Because technology is not there yet.
We need atleast 100 more years till it can save us
And now a slight shift in the sun will kill us all.
Except the select few
Capitalism’s love-children.

Once again Lady Gaga thanks all of her gay fans for helping her to her place
Regretfully she says she can’t bring them with her up into outerspace
The continued existence of Mother Monster is a fullfillment of deserved destiny
It is ”Great Art”.
Bill Gates shows what a good man he is when he pays for a starving south african girl to come with
Joining the select few
Who could afford a seat and a sufficient ammount of GMO-pills and artificial air.
To sustain a full life earned from a life-time of superficiality.
Hard-elbows
And exploitation.
She will never fit in.
He was so used to it being the best PR-trick
So he forgot there was nothing left to sell.
What will he do now
Up there in that pale white space shuttle?
Suddenly life and it’s meaning is feeling quite empty.

What is advertisement
But commercialized art
Valerie oversees the apocalypse and laughs out loud that
”Great art” too is commercialized
And advertisements on the television make you cry
At the correct que
Your emotions played like a marionette
No. Not in gods hands.
Money is the global anthem.
If we want to sell god we must make him young and handsome
He is already white and male and masculine.
The slight alteration will make him complete.

And when you get married all they have to say to the bride is God you look so beautiful
Smile
Take it in
Because it’s all we’ve learned
And we think it makes us worth more – The beauty.
And we want to be worth more
More beautiful.
It is all we ever dreamed of.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
And grab it while it’s hot!
In older age other things will support our self-worth
You can always find solace in you wallet.
Money supports everything.
But it can not tackle fear.
As it stands there in the way of life.

If you’ve been so alive as to have already died and come back to life inside 100 times.
There is nothing left to fear.
No, not death
That old grey threat
For most rock-solid and heavy
It is empty!
She does not "feel too much".
She just knows.
She who feared her wedding
More than her death
It would have tied her down to a much larger extent
Death is something everyone must do alone
And if you've already dared to walk alone
You will not be scared when "it" comes.

2012.
It can be both an end and a beginning.
The foreboding is not for death
But Egypt, Occupy the fall of several media empires.
A revolution that undoes the knots that separate us.
Because it is not the earth that is the world.
It is just the sacred piece of land and water that sustains us.
It is nothing without
The world that lives inside our soul.
There are 7 billion of them.
Worlds.
All inter-linked, yet distinct,
Autonomously together.
This is what beauty is.
And there is nothing we can do to make them worth more worth less.
We can not stuff them with money or diets or tanning salons or whitening creams.
They are already everything.
One day that is exactly how we will start treating them.
The absence of power and economic divides are nothing to mourn.
And as ashes we all look the same.

PS When it comes to form this isn’t really a poem, but oh well I’ve always prioritized the message before form – I hate form-obsessed poetry.
PS 2 This is the closest to being a hippie I will ever come. Happy New Year <3
PS 3 ”Money is the reason we exist, everyone know’s it, it’s a fact. KISS KISS”
PS 4 Once again one of the main themes is beauty. It’s because I’m tired of being constantly frustrated at having to decipher between what is objectification and what is somebody taking all of you in. Sometimes I feel like saying to hell with it and just smiling and being happy and taking it all is compliments, but that would be depoliticizing a subject that as a femme is very fucking political. I can give a 70 minute spoken word/performance art-show where I pour my whole heart out and than in the end somebody just tells me how great my legs look…

I'm you national anthem - money is the anthem 2012 is the revolution.

2011-12-31T06:52:00.000+03:30

♥ "Money is the anthem of success So before we go out what's your adress?... Money is the reason We exist Everybody knows it, it's a fact Kiss, kiss... I'm your National Anthem Money is the anthem God, you're so handsome Money is the anthem Of success"...

"I sing the national anthem while I am standing over your body, hold you like a python and you can't keep your hands off me or your pants on. See what you've done to me, give me Chevron! You said to be cool, but I'm already coolest, you said to get real, don't you know who you're dealing with? Umm, do you think you'll buy me lots of diamonds? Yes, also a gun!"

Alltså den här låten sätter tonen för 2012 för mig. Jag lyssnar på den på repeat. Det är det apokalyptiska förebudet som påminner mig om The Pixies "Where Is My Mind" - fast med en ännu bättre text och teman som jag kan känna igen mig i. Och det är det som jag har fastnat för hos Lana del Rey - att hon skriver om många teman som jag också har skrivit om de senaste månaderna. Att vara överemotionell och känslosam. Att vara en empowered femme och strippa. Att blanda maskulina och feminina stereotyper med varandra - diamonds and guns. Liksom, när jag hörde Kinda Outta Luck för första gången så hade jag precis skrivit en performance dikt som inleddes med "I was born baaaaad" och så inleds Lana del Rey's låt på exakt samma sätt.

2.5 minuter av kvinnor som skjuter män ;-):

PS Jag tror att 2012 blir slutet för många saker, men framförallt början till något nytt och bättre. Revolution - Occupy-rörelsen, Egypten, kollapsen av flera medie-imperier - Jag längtar. Ser framemot. Är optimistisk inför framtiden.

GOTT NYTT 2012!

Lite grejer som jag skrivit och länkat till på facebook, umm

2011-12-30T19:51:00.001+03:30

At times self-love is a very good alternative to bitterness - just make sure it never turns malignant and all-absorbing.

Feeling humility. Ready to ease myself into a hot steaming bath to the apocalyptic yet also life-affirming words and voices of PJ Harvey, Lana del Rey, Sylvia Plath, Ani Difranco, Alice Walker and Fiona Apple. Tonight I want no one to insert themself between myself and myself ♥

‎"Here is a hand to fill it and willing to bring tea cups and roll away head-aches and do whatever you tell it. Will you marry it?" "In 25 years she'll be silver, in 50 gold, a living doll everywhere you look, it can sew, it can cook, it can talk talk talk, it works, there is nothing wrong with it"

Länk till artikel som diskuterar varför melankoli kan vara viktigt. Enligt mig är melankoli är en av många delar av livet och om den aldrig är närvarande så har personen i fråga förmodligen inte reflekterat särskilt mycket över världen och dess position i det..

Citat från Jelinek's Älskarinnorna. Elfriede Jelinek vs. Heteropatriarchal & Capitalist power dynamics 1000-0 ♥ ♥

PS: INSPIRERANDE!!! REVOLUTION NÄRA!!

A stripper can be a professor and vice versa.

2011-12-29T21:55:00.005+03:30

Det här borde vara helt självklart för alla, men många är så pass dumma så att de tror att alla sexarbetare måste vara dumma. För de som är så pass dumma finns den här listan "The 13 smartest porn stats of All time". I'm also a stripper with a college degree! Vi är alla mångfacetterade människor, vi måste bara tillåta oss själva att vara det mer. Jag vill tillåta mig själv att vara det på så många sätt som möjligt och sedan skriva om mina erfarenheter.

Och så säger Jenna Jameson många bra saker i det här klippet. Visst, hon är en del av mainstream-porrvärlden som absolut återproducerar många problematiska patriarkala strukturer, men Jameson argumenterar mot ytterligare problematiska patriarkala strukturer som återproduceras av människor som dumförklarar och/eller viktimiserar kvinnliga porrskådisar:

PS Fiona Apple can get you through even the darkest winter of the soul - and what happens between 3.40-4.00 in this clip just shows you why. Screaming out the heaviest stones in the stomach that weigh worlds!:

Hela albumet "Extraordinary Machine" är bland de mest deprimerande och upplyftande och life-affirming-albumen jag någonsin hört. Det är inte många som lyckas vara allt på samma gång. Fiona Apple lyckas verkligen. Och lämnar en med "If you don't have a date, celebrate, go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing - cuz it's just what you must do and nobody does it anymore... I'm better than fine"

The top of the mountain

2011-12-27T05:45:00.003+03:30

This may seem to be about suicide, but it's about capitalism, egos that enclose themselves over others, people becoming conservative and jaded w/ age, people who elbow there way to the top not caring if anyone gets hurt on the way'n'last but not least Norms (Every word I write is 4 my fellow freaks)!

The top of the mountain

Heavy as gold and Giant tall.
On one side the cities people little like ants mean nothing to me
If I jump I am confident my fall will kill three
When a large stone falls it takes several small stones with it
On the opposite end the lights blink red and blue over the open sea
This was not how it looked when I grew up
The storm which brews hides the moon
And the stars
This doesn't disconcern me
Like the fright of eternity
Or what Catholics told me
Is the terrible journey towards god.
At the moment all the light I can see is man-made
So where is this god?
Way up high in that empty sky
If you get too close to the sun it will always burn you
Which is why people always keep there distance
From those who shine the brightest
Intensity is for freaks!
The road to success is the middle-way that just manages to stand out a little.
Enough to catch your eye.
But you don't have to go and blind everyone!

This can not be sustained for very long
I hurtle my teacup
And it shatters to meet the ground
As always the wind will not carry it
It's bits and pieces will soon be stepped on by a rabbit or a deer
Who's sores surely must get infected
And cause pain
And death
And my trip to the top of the mountain
Which once served to solidify life's meaning
Has made the world a worse place.

Att ge polisen handen!

2011-12-27T01:00:00.001+03:30

Ha! Jag har gett polisen fingret förut, men ikväll markerade första gången som jag polisen HANDEN det vill säga "talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin"-handen. Polismannen var upptagen med att utnyttja sin makt och skälla ut någon och jag gick emellan och polisen hotade mig och jag gav honom HANDEN. Nästa gång kommer jag också att ge honom W:et för Whatever.

Fröjdefulla julbilder och fröjdefull juldikt.

2011-12-25T02:37:00.005+03:30

Sorry for being such a negative crazy bitch, but my barbies taught me good =)

The perfectionist

Again I purr and stir off the scream from the familiar place
Where existential agony meets uncontainable physical desire
Why do you insist on governing my life?
When my pleas are for total self-sufficiency
Off with the head of all obsessive inclinations
Listen and let in the sin

Everyone who meets me agrees they have never seen anyone so alive
They are mistaken
For I am kicking just to stay alive
I do everything I want but I never allow myself to relax and enjoy it.
The moment.
It is not necessary for another breath to pass through
Do not waist it!
Only vodka and valium manage to silence it.
Too much of a perfectionist to live
Too much of a control freak to suicide
The tide reaches out
What will it bring
What will it take
Prophetically pathetic I know all too well what doesn't belong inside of me
Over-exposed like a negative of a person.
The morbid x-ray forbids me to hide
Spills out my guts for the students to examine

I can not fake sweet honey instead of bitter vinegar
It was you who taught me
Off Off
I did not call you at all.
I love you no more than a whale loves it's barnacles
I have wallowed in fear too long
I am fire
And you are ice.
I will not miss you when you are a puddle.

You wanted me to marry it
But instead I bury it.
Stomp it down 7, 8, 9 feet underground
Ghastly Ghost
You have no unfinished business here!
Poisoning everything inside
Fearing everything outside

And crazy they all say I'm as fun as a full amusement park
As I take my place in the circus of freaks
I always belonged there
But you frown at my failure.
All that talent put to waist.
The perfectionist does not know how to smile.
It can not learn.
It can not breath so it suffocates me.
It must be killed.
You can have so much fun with a gun.
Oh, dangerous girl!
You know exactly what you're doing!
Now that you've learned that climbing a tree and trying to reach every single branch at the same time leads to the fall, the fall.
Lucky you did not die learning.

No blood is shed.
But a self is recovered and rising.
Glowing.
Basking in the light for the first time.
Relaxing without bursting out in tears.
The heart - a home that no longer weighs worlds.
The pool a clear view mirror that shimmers and shines.
The reflection smiles back at me
I as I as I.

Yes we know it's Christmas Time...

2011-12-24T18:44:00.001+03:30

Så jävla bra grej! Ned med postkolonialt patroniserande välgörenhetsarbete!!!

"Gundane said he hoped that his involvement with the song would turn him into an expert on British politics and economics in the same way ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ had turned Geldof and Bono into the world’s leading experts on Africa."

Läs artikeln här.

Bilder, berättelser, Bieber.

2011-12-24T01:41:00.002+03:30

"I must fight with all my strength to turn what little positive energy my poor health has left me toward aiding the revolution. The only real reason for living." - Frida Kahlo

In general I don't like Christmas - it's capitalism, it's christianity, it's the nuclear family - So I forbid Christmas-music. However this is so morbid so I gotta love it - the overt product placements all over the place and Justin Bieber acting like the alpha male to little school girl Mariah Carey (although he's 17 and she's over 40 they are still MAN AND WOMAN and gotta act their roles ya know).... Ahh, it's just too much ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Och så bläddrade jag igenom Ebba Witt-Brattströms "Å alla kära systrar" - säkert 200 bilder och alla som förekommer på bild är vita, förutom en liten bild på en frige Angela Davis-demonstration i Holland där en ser en bild på Angela Davis på ett plakat. Klart det är lätt att tycka att det där med intersektionalitet är tjafs när hela ens feminism består av vita (och heterosexuella?)...

Avslutningsvis. Amy - I love you I miss you.

Att kritisera misogyna hipstersnubbar som dissar Lana del Rey och sen börja mailväxla med - just det - Lana del Rey.

2011-12-22T04:06:00.005+03:30

Jaja. Idag skrev jag följande statusuppdatering på facebook:

Annoying misogynist heterosexual hipster guys who hate on Lana Del Rey because she's "not really indie" (and they feel tricked by the indie estethics of her music video) and because she's had plastic surgery which they say means "she can't be focused on her music". Fuck off. You want your little innocent indie pixie dream girl and you never could take Marilyn Monroe or Sylvia Plath - so someone that combines the two of them makes you so scared. Overt sexuality has always frightened you and when she outsmarts you AND has ambition it sends you running and your only retaliation is "she's had plastic surgery so uhhh she must be a fake bimbo". #HATEMISOGYNISTHIPSTERDUDES

Och ja, artisten själv läste det, diggade det, lade till mig som vän på facebook och just nu diskuterar vi hur det är att vara high femme på punkställen. Vackert.

Dr. Freud thinks he knows why I am a femme-inist

2011-12-20T17:11:00.003+03:30

Lashing out like a harrowing hourd of hounds
I never welcomed you
At 7 I outsmarted you
And you tried your luck at the traditional way to display dominance
But I never allowed any man to be in command
At 14 also you were outsped by my ferverous intensity
I did not learn the common decency of just shutting up

You repeatedly prefer to speak to me with your fists
Bow down kitty time to meet another one that packs a punch
It is the only language I understand
The only thing that gives you the fascists control that you so long for
Do you blaim daddy when your dark voice fails to frighten and instill the respect you've earned from absolutely nothing
I do not adore a fascist
The muscular prescense
The violent anti-mind
The habitual arrogance
It fails to bite on me
You always thought this was your trumph card
But for 18 years I have denied you power
Your stranglehold always managed to get untangled
The first time I was 7
But even than an anaconda can not catch a black widow
The stilettos may appear to immobolize me
Yet I live everyday using them as stakes in your hearts of shades of gray
You will never win.

So go back to daddy
Daddy's boy
Because I never was daddies girl
Little girl with the biggest mouth that will not be used to suck you off
It can bite
It can scream
It can tell you off off off
It always did
And you always feared my mouth.
It's erotic sensuality lured you in.
But you, you are not like me
And you try to hide your hard dick behind your hard fist
As my mouth chews you up and spits you out.

Bruising you brutally was just my warning
Enclosed the kill-energy
Exposed it will fuck you up
Without apologies
My adverse allergy to daddy bore me to this fierce femme
Now none of your toxins can penetrate me
Futile fools!
Drones, drones
Daring to challenge the Queen!
Stung, run
And dr. Freud is next
With his verdict
- That ressurect I am more devilish than I ever was before -
Red
Hovering overhead
Stinging his rotting corpse
And battering all the men that tried to behead me black blue
With the moon on my side
The whip
The burning light from your blazing stick
The gerilla militia hiding behind a shawl
There shall be absolutely no regrets

Imorgon kör jag "In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" i Göteborg!

2011-12-19T15:45:00.000+03:30

Hoppas på att se många av er där: DECEMBER 20 kl. 19 - Kulturhuset Blå Stället, Angereds Torg 13 - Entré: 60 SEK for de med mer, 80 SEK for de med mindre. Biljetter går att köpa på plats, men om ni vill boka i förväg gör ni det här.

I övrigt så finns mitt femme-firande sexnovell från Ligga med P3 nu uppe på spotify för alla att njuta av i alla bemärkelser.
Sexnovell på spotify! Här är länken. "Femme faggot whores from hell, with politics on our sleeves, we fuck eachother like Thelma & Louise" INDEPENDENCE!

Och slutligen. När jag var 8 hörde jag låten "When a man loves a woman" för första gången. Jag ändrade texten till "When a man loves a woman, Baby he's gotta be gay maybe it's better that way". Already at 8 I was queering things up.

PUSS-KRAM!

Forced suicide 1994

2011-12-18T16:59:00.005+03:30

When I was 8 I remember reading in the paper about a woman who had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and given one month left to live, who committed suicide with out telling anyone about her diagnosis. This image has stuck with me ever since and now I'm finally writing about her.

Forced suicide 1994

It was the brain that betrayed me in the first place
And proceeded to lock the door and swallow the key
I will not sustain this trecherous judas inside me any longer!
The extentions leading to the heart to the lungs cut off
By cancer, by drowning, by boiling, by force, by intention
And the final taste
The vomit pouring out of every orifice
And the final feeling
The fear rising up into panic paced by the hearts slowing
Mellowing down to none allowing the feelings to pass
While the lungs decide between deflation and explosion
And settle for the less dramatic alternative
Arms, legs waiting to be eaten
They have no choice in the matter of whom will do it.
But than again they were never in control.
The bloodstream always was poetry
It can not keep the flow going on its own
And stop the body from turning stale as ancient bread
Her warmth was the only thing she had going for her
Nobody will ever be living in here again.
Only the words have survived
In the future also the facebook-account to which no one has the password.
The rest - soil and air
And the legacy
A tumoltuos never ending love story
Undone by an infectious poison
A slight shift in the sun.

Excuse me for writing another morbid poem... I'm not skilled at writing pretty prose.

Staying at home on weekends is FUUUUN!

2011-12-18T16:58:00.000+03:30

Ahh. Got so angry at that anti-feminist festival booker Håkan so I had to thrash around to Bikini Kill "The Singles" just to get all the energy around.

Cuz music is a revolutionary fucking power that changes lives. The first time I listened to this CD I was 18 and I learned what real femme-inist power and anger was about. I learned to walk tall and not accept any fucking bullshit and was enthralled by the raw real sexyness of "New Radio", the empowering Rebel Girl, the defiant "Demirep", the sex-positivity of "I Like Fucking", the telling off of the misogynist group-dynamic of straight dudes in "I hate danger". Fuck Off Håkan Karlsson "Did you win that race, did you score that point, are you so fucking cool fucking cool now, did you tell your fucking friends HOW PUNK FUCKING ROCK MY PUSSY SMELLS?"

Last night I went from thrashing to Bikini Kill to drinking tea and reading Anne Sexton and reworking one of my own performance pieces and than later umm Jude Law in Cruel Intentions on tv (sorry for being a dumb lookist, but GAAAH! And someone told me it was Ryan Phillipe, but I can't remember the names of all the people I've slept with so why would I remember the names of everyone that I've fantasized about?). I love staying in on weekends. And Malmö's nightlife doesn't inspire me - I'm moving soon...

Biggest literary inspirations of 2011: Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, Arundhati Roy, Elfriede Jelinek, Jamaica Kincaid.

Biggest musical inspirations of 2011: Diamanda Galas, PJ Harvey, Lana del Rey, Amy Winehouse, Antony & The Johnsons

Biggest political (and of course politics also influence my literary and musical inspirations! Yes it's fucking political, everything's political) inspirations of 2011: Angela Davis, Occupy Oakland, stripping, sex workers rights, bell hooks, Valerie Solanas, Karen Finley, deconstructing the societal view of rape being something that ruins your life, not doing activism or creating art in a homogenous bubble - not living your whole life in a homogenous bubble (it's when shifting outside of comfort zones that society can change), utilizing art in all its forms as a political tool and as always Femme and Riot Grrrl and Kathleen Hanna and Courtney Love (I WANT THEM TO MAKE FRIIIIIENDS!)

And I can't wait for 2012 and the revolution that it brings.

Emmaboda och jämställdheten.

2011-12-17T19:59:00.007+03:30

Alltså. Det här uttalandet gör mig så förbannad på så många nivåer. Jag vill sparka honom med 15 cm klackar rakt in i rövhålet. Jag blir så arg. Så jävla jävla arg. He made my SHITLIST!

(Bild hämtad från min vän Tove Jonsson)

Mer Lana del Rey

2011-12-16T14:26:00.002+03:30

Alltså: Tar en Courtney Love's bad grrrl-het, Sylvia Plath's besatthet av döden, Marilyn Monroe's femme fatale, Amy Winehouse's självdestruktiva kärleksliv så får en Lana del Rey. Jag älskar det. Och "Kinda Outta Luck" är den underbaraste låten jag hört på länge:

‎"Come take a walk on the wild-side, let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane"

"I heard that you love the bad girls honey, is it true?"

"They say I'm wasting time, they said that I'm no good. Cause I'ma love my life, not doing what I should. Call me poison ivy cause I'm far from good, Pretty from afar like a dark star."

"In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" - GÖTEBORG

2011-12-14T23:56:00.002+03:30

After touring around Stockholm, Manchester, London, Amsterdam and Berlin for the past few weeks now "In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" is bringing its riot grrrl and queerfemme-energy to Gothenburg in Sweden - the last stop on the European Tour.

DECEMBER 20 7 PM - GÖTEBORG - Kulturhuset Blå Stället,
Angereds Torg 13 - Entrance Fee: 60 SEK for those with less, 80 SEK for those with more.

Lana del rey, Angela Davis och Occupy.

2011-12-14T22:17:00.003+03:30

Jag älskar Lana del rey. Kinda outta luck - fierce femme theme-song. Om jag börjar jobba som strippa igen kan ni räkna med att det är denna jag ska göra entré till:

"I was born bad, But then I met you. You made me nice for a while, but my dark side's true. Femme fatale, always on the run Diamonds on my wrist, whiskey on my tongue Before I give back, I gotta get drunk So get over here, pour me a cold one. Babe you can see that I'm danger, The moment of heat I'm deranged yeah Teetering off of the stage, yeah Is it wro-ong that I think it's kinda fun when I hit you in the back of the head with a gun, my daddy's in the trunk of his brand new truck, I really want him back but I'm kinda outta luck. I was a dangerous girl You were too nice for this world And now I'm back on the prowl Who wants to give it a whirl?"

"T-R-O-U-B-L-E, trouble is what feels good to me, crazy ass since I was 3, now Im out to get ya" "Gramma said that somewhere out there there's a good man waiting for meI wanna be the whole worlds girl gramma, tell me do you think that's wrong?"

Och så Occupy-rörelserna på västkusten i USA och Kanada, som stängde ned nästan alla västkust-hamnar under en period i förrgår. Störst var Occupy Oakland och där höll Angela Davis ytterligare ett fantastiskt tal. Först om makt, förtryck, ilska, revolution och avslutar allt med att tala om kärlek, community och kreativitet. Angela Davis I ♥ u. And peace without justice is just an excuse for continuing oppression is my message to all the hippies out there.

Poe Liberado

2011-12-07T03:46:00.003+03:30

Om 3 dagar får jag krama den här människan. En av mina bästa vänner i hela världen. De sista 5 minutrarna är mind-boggling i sin intensitet och politiska skärpa. Och jag har aldrig känt igen mig så mycket i en text som någon annan skrivit. Poe... Jag älskar dig! TACK FÖR DIG och dina ord och allt som du är!!!

"In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" goes AMSTERDAM

2011-12-06T16:36:00.000+03:30

After touring around Stockholm, Manchester, London and Berlin for the past few weeks now "In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" is bringing its riot grrrl and queerfemme-energy to Amsterdam.

DECEMBER 10 9 PM - AMSTERDAM - De Peper @ OT301 Overtoom 301, 1054 HW Amsterdam Entrance Fee: Sliding scale 4-6 Euros depending on how much you can afford.

IN BURNING - IN BASHING BACK - IN BLOOMING - A SPOKEN WORD AND PERFORMANCE ART-MUSICAL BY ALEXANDER ALVINA CHAMBERLAND

”Those who have suffered understand suffering and thereby extend their hand, the storm which brings harm also makes the grass grow fertile” – Patti Smith

”Sometimes all reflective human beings struggle with feelings of emptiness and everything being meaningless. Does the realization of deep oppression and all the darkness in the world require suicide? No, it requires revolt!” – Quote from the play

A personal account on processing and surviving being raped in a society that says it will ruin your life and regaining – and gaining new – strength. Through yourself, through support, through solidarity, through SCREAMING, through activism. Riot Grrrl meets queerfemme-inist performance art meets dark musical. Featuring music by Bikini Kill, PJ Harvey, Le Tigre, Hole, Christina Aguilera, TLC, Nina Simone, Diamanda Galas, L7, Amy Winehouse and CocoRosie. The production is in English. Co-director Angie Negin Rad. Photo: Idios. Length: 70 minutes

* trigger warning since the play features the reenactment of a sexual assault

The following is a clip from a scene in the production in its raw, unfinished beginning stages "This little limp wrist turns into a fucking fist": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HYfRAqMcw8
------------------
ABOUT THE PERFORMER:

Alexander Alvina Chamberland is 25 years old and lives in Sweden, but is born and raised in San Francisco, California. Alexander is an anarchist and queerfeminist leftist-activist, poet, performance artist and writer. They completed their bachelor in gender studies at Lunds University in the spring of 2011.

Alexander is co-founder of The Queertopia Festival and has had article’s publicized in many of Sweden’s largets newspapers (DN, Aftonbladet, Svenska Dagbladet, Göteborgs Posten and Sydsvenska Dagbladet etc) and has taken part in tv- and radio-programs like Lantz i P1, the sex show Ligga med P3, Studio Ett, Generation Z, SVT Debatt, Aktuellt and SVT:s morning program, where they once arrived dressed as a Black Swan. They have performed in Berlin, San Francisco, Malmö, Toronto, Copenhagen, Stockholm, London and Amsterdam.

Occupy all of the west coat ports 12th of december!!!

2011-12-04T22:36:00.001+03:30

WOW!!!! This makes me happy in such a real and pure way. And they end the clip with X-Ray Spex. Revolution is truly coming and there has never been more hope.

Mikael Wiehe...

2011-12-04T01:35:00.001+03:30

Alltså hans låt om Valerie Solanas är så dålig på alla sätt. Eller som Valerie Solanas-facebookkonto skriver:

"Some Swedish dude "singer/song-writer" wrote a really bad song about me. Or wait I mean created "GREAT ART" about me. I google-translated the lyrics "When you look into the mirror and hate what you see, am I the one you want to kill Valerie?" OK. MR. MAN I'll answer your question: When I look into the mirror I LOVE WHAT I SEE, but yes you're just the type that I wanna kill off!!! Valerie Solanas You AND the pope! It's fucked that you made a song with lyrics that basically are just you pouring out patronizing sympathy and victimization from your priviledged white straight cis-man-position - and I want none of it, I want none of you MICHAEL!!!!! Fuck off. WE WON'T GIVE UP, WE WILL FUCK THINGS UP - SCUM!!!!!"

Island erkänner palestina, England generalstrejkar, queerfemme-revolution - It won't be long!

2011-12-02T15:53:00.003+03:30

Är i Berlin - vilket alltid är inspirerande. Ikväll 21.30 kör jag min föreställning på Theater Spiel Raum Space på Bethanien. Igår var jag på femme-träff på Silver Future och det var förstås som alltid fantastiskt.

I tisdags och onsdags var jag i London och uppträdde. Det gick jättebra. Men mest fyllde London mig med tankar - kring nutid, kring historia, kring kolonialism, kring kapitalism. Jag vill inte bo i London, men jag älskar att hälsa på. Framförallt nu. Det händer grejer. Den offentliga sektorn hade en historisk generalstrejk i onsdags - två miljoner demonstrerade på gatorna!!! Jag säger då det - The Revolution - It won't be long!!!

Jag besökte även både Amy's och Sylvia Plath's hus och upprördes över att det stod "This is where the poet W.B. Yeats lived" på huset där Sylvia dog. Fucking jävla patriarkat. Kunde de inte skrivit med Sylvia också liksom?!

I Delhi är det Queerfestival och Pride-tider och jag vill vara där!!!

Och Island blir första stat i Västeuropa att tillerkänna Palestina's status. Äntligen. Och självklart är det Island som leder vägen - precis som deras antikapitalistiska agenda i kölvattnet av finanskrisen kom långt innan Occupy-rörelsen svepte över hela världen och nu jävlar händer det grejer överallt!!! Som sagt: It won't be long!

The take-off (a meditation before landing in London - sight of the early death of two of my greatest inspirations – Amy Winehouse and Sylvia Plath)

2011-11-28T19:50:00.005+03:30

The engine starts its bid to defy gravity
All that powerful energy
Combining great thrill and fear
Girating my full body
Sidetracking my thoughts to you
All stilettos and broken furniture everywhere wild mad force of passionate pleasure
I will let you through my barricade of barb-wire walls of fire.
Do you dare to travel at 500 miles per hour?
The senses alive awake andrenaline kicks in kicks out anxiety anguish
The thoughts focus forget the love the hate the state of society the environmental destruction happening here and now
This is not freedom
Nor happiness
But a welcome vacation
Cabin pressure is stabile stifles the sick suffering cell of depression
The demonish hell of perfectionist pride
Fear of failure
I can stand stronger being called fucking faggot every day
Than having to stand one day of your patronizing sympathy
I may make much more money as a stripper
It’s not bad being a whore
But it can’t be all that I’m good for.
The airplane succeeds in its bid to soar
Nowhere to go
Contact with the outside world means certain death.
Pride parade of bitter spite wanting to die
My murderous misanthropic side of mind mines the window tempting disintegrating.
Dissolving solving the puzzle by default
From the aerial view you either see immense pointlessness or sense your purpose
Endless bitter blackness staved off by the cities bright lights
My own light always turned on full blast to the brink of shattering it’s glass
Sometimes I must allow myself to just glow.
Just be.
I am.
I am.
I am Lady Lazarus in life.
Tear my heart out and send it flying (use it as a dildo)
Watch it rise.
Defying gravity it never fails to take flight.
Someday it will certainly learn how to land.
Without a constraining seat-belt securely fastened
Or the trapped tray-table in the upright and locked position.

PS PERFORMING MY PLAY TONIGHT IN MANCHESTER, TOMORROW IN LONDON AND FRIDAY IN BERLIN. I am writing like never before. Singing Winehouse songs and quoting Plath in my play tomorrow in the city of boths deaths feels like a coming full circle of sorts. I will visit both of their houses on Wednesday. (Sylvia Plath 23 Fitzroy Road, happens to also be the place where W.B. Yeats lived - poet house)

PS 2 Today is International Fuck The Police Day. The police force have never ever been on the right side of social change and revolution. They are always busy protecting the same system, status quo, people of priviledge in as many ways as possible. #FUCKTHEPOLICE #STILLNOT<3INGPOLICE, #ACAB #DON'TTRUSTTHEPOLICE (And don't even get me started on THE PRISON SYSTEM!!!!!!!)

PS 3 Let England Shake:

AmyAmyAmy and I'm coming to London baby.

2011-11-26T14:03:00.000+03:30

Idag flyger jag till London. Är där en natt, sen drar jag till Manchester och kör föreställning och sen tillbaka till London i två dagar för att köra föreställningen. Det är första gången jag varit där på 5 år. Otroligt kul. Och så ska jag även gå förbi Amy's gamla hus i CAMDEN TOWN IS BURNING DOWN (ska dock ej vara utklädd till henne när jag gör mitt besök - känns lite... fel). Och sjunga två av hennes låtar. I London. Det känns kul. Things are coming full circle:

Money - Never sleeping does not equate immortality

2011-11-26T01:00:00.001+03:30

Money – You are torture with none of the fun of play violence.
Your papers and your coins mean everything to us
You can be pink, you can be silver, you can be green.
For you we get up, we walk work non-stop we talk talk talk
Because you never really sleep still constantly pouring in and out of banks, atms, cash registers – day and night, you are the light of day, brightest star, biggest dick.
I wish for you to mean absolutely nothing, nothing at all, but this wish you only grant to people who have everything.
I must find ways to sell my art to them!
Package it well!
Learn my lines!
Join their clubs!
Oh don’t worry – I’ll still vote leftist, donate 10 percent of the proceeds and talk of anarchism atop the highest horses.
My art is for the rich, but my heart is with the poor!
I will give you all of my patronizing sympathy and nothing more!
Money –the travesty we’ve built a society where we can’t even survive without you.
Money for food
Money for clothes
Money for transportation
Money for the roof over my head.
Money - I can’t survive without your sweet touch.
But money I am not thankful
Our relationship is no love and all hate.
Valerie shot Warhol because he had too much control over her life.
Ohh, money the things I would do to you if I only had the chance.
I would torture you with none of the fun of play violence.
I’m sure you would put up a fight
But hate is venomous and I like to bite.
You will run from me, poisoned to death out of sound out of sight.
Money may never sleep but it meets the fate of mortality
When us bitches awaken to unite.
And you can mourn all you want for the brutally broken ATM
Mutilated by my murderous intent
I do not intend to attend it’s funeral

PS I would rather be called fucking faggot every day than recieve patronizing sympathy

PS 2:

IMORGON BÖRJAR DET!!

2011-11-23T12:01:00.000+03:30

Imorgon börjar Europaturnén för min pjäs!!!!!!!! Stockholm på improvisation & co 19.00 (hagagatan 48, nära odenplan) Sedan: 28:e november Manchester, 29:e november London, 2:e december Berlin, 20:e december Göteborg.

Efter tre dagars total röstvila med té och honung och inga kalla drycker börjar min röst komma i närheten av den här formen (Förstås inte lika bra, men ändå, tillräckligt bra för att jag ska vara nöjd)

Efter att ha stigit av planet från San Francisco har min röst varit mer som i nedanstående klippet efter jetlag, flygplansluften, den torra vinterluften, och oregelbunden sömn. Jag har enbart kunnat sjunga med basregistret och jag vill kunna waila och jag ska waila, basregistret är så tråkigt. Vad som aldrig är uttråkande är Amy's open book heart on sleeve. 30 sekunder in i det här klippet...

Heart on sleeve - Open book - not pretending to be happy - capitalism does not like this - thank you Liv Strömquist for writing Amy var som ett inkassokrav - it makes me tear up every time

Occupy the whole west coast, skriv under namninsamling

2011-11-23T00:43:00.000+03:30

12:e december är planen att alla occupy-rörelser på västkusten i USA ska samarbeta för att stänga ned samtliga västkusthamnar. Det är typ bästa grejen någonsin. Läs om det här!!!

SKRIV PÅ NAMNINSAMLING MOT LAGFÖRSLAG I RYSSLAND OM ATT FÖRBJUDA PRAT OCH SKRIFT OM HOMOSEXUALITET!

Favvocitat från Elfriede Jelinek's Pianolärarinnan

2011-11-22T00:48:00.001+03:30

"Den här klänningen kommer inte först nästa år utan redan nästa månad att stå utanför varje mode. Pengar blir aldrig omoderna".

"Ur allmänt konstnärliga och individuella mänskliga överväganden extraherar Erika roten: aldrig skulle hon kunna underordna sig en man, efter att i så många år ha underordnat sig modern".

"Ett huvudmål har Erika ändå gemensamt med andra interpreter: Att vara bättre än andra!"

"Som så ofta misstar sig folket även denna gång".

"För de flesta består konstens huvudsakliga lockelse i igenkännandet av någonting som de tror sig känna till".

"Hon begär att de störda djuren ska spruta syra. Hon är en av dessa människor som principiellt vänder på varje sten för att se om det kanske finns en orm under den".

"Därvid kommer inte konsten att kunna trösta HENNE, trots att mycket påstås om konsten, framför allt att den är en trösterska. Ibland frambringar den dock i första hand lidandet".

"det ska gå att pressa fram pengar ur den mödosamt uppnådda finheten, medan genomsnittsmänniskorna beundrande står runt konstnärinnan och applåderar"

"Erika är ett geni i att handskas med pianot, hon har bara inte blivit ordentligt upptäck än. Annars skulle Erika för länge sedan, lik en komet, ha stigit i höjden ovan bergen. Jesusbarnets födelse var en struntsak mot detta. Grannarna håller med om detta. De lyssnar gärna när flickan övar. Det är som i radion, men det krävs inga licensavgifter."

"Erika tar upp en av sperma helt hopbakad pappersnäsduk från golvet och håller den för näsan. Hon andas djupt in vad en annan har producerat under hårt arbete. Hon andas och tittar och förbrukar därvid en smula livstid".

"Dessutom äger de, där andra har sin bil, nämligen mycket nära sitt hjärta, en samling gamla instrument".

"Föraktets band knyter samman utbildaren och den som ska utbildas".

"Lärarinnan är för honom ren. Avlämna modern, ta Erika med ut. Erika! Så yttrar han hennes namn. Hon låtsas missförstå och påskyndar sina steg, så att vi kommer framåt och den unge mannen inte kommer på någon konstig tanke. Han bör äntligen ge sig av! Här finns så många vägar han skulle kunna försvinna på. När han äntligen är borta ska hon tillsammans med modern utförligt skoja om att denna elev i hemlighet beundrar henne. Tänker ni också titta på Fred Astaire-filmen ikväll? Jag ja! Jag tänker verkligen inte missa den. Nu vet herr Klemmer vad som väntar honom, nämligen ingenting".

"Barnen ges fria tyglar, medan de unga kvinnorna prövar sina kunskaper från de lyxiga mattidningarna på oskyldiga auberginer och andra exotiska grönsaker. Inför dålig kvalitet ryggar dessa kvinnor tillbaka som inför en huggorm, som lyfter sitt fula huvud ur zucchinerna".

"Några vinkar, Erika inte. Det finns folk och folk. En del hoppar på stället, joddlar, skriker. Inte Erika."

"Ensamma kan människorna knappt gå och stå, i horder uppträder de, som om de inte redan ensamma vore en alltför stark belastning av jordytan, tänker enstöringen Erika".

"Bara döden får man gratis, och den kostar livet, och allt har en ände, utom korven som har två, säger den hjälpsamme affärsmannen och utbrister i kraftiga skrattsalvor"

"Men den slugaste domptör har ännu inte haft tanken att sända ut en leopard eller ett lejon på vägen med en fiollåda. Björnen på cykeln har nog varit det yttersta som en människa förmår tänka sig".

"Vattnet får sitt slut i Klemmers ansikte. Allting vackert drar jag alltid ned i smutsen, tänker han för sig själv".

"Och ändå dras hon till sin elev. En kometsvans efter kometkärnan.Idag tänker hon inte på någon utökning av sitt klädlager. Men hon tänker på att ikläda sig något av sina fynd till nästa lektion, hon ska rigga upp sig elegant nu när det blir vår. Hemma vill mamma inte vänta längre, och korvarna hon kokar gillar inte heller att vänta. En stek vore nu onjutbar och seg"

"Gamla kvinnor i sjaletter som släpper ut sina hundar sista gången för dagen, i hopp om att en enda gång möta en ensam man som också håller sig med hund och dessutom är änkling".

"Modern vill nu börja gråta, vilket skulle göra henne till segrarinna på knock-out i tredje ronden, i värsta fall till segrarinna på teknisk knock-out. Erika förvägrar modern detta med hänvisning till den sena timmen".

"I mig ser ni gränsen mot vilken er vilja ändå bryts, för mig kommer ni aldrig överskrida, herr Klemmer! Och den tilltalade protesterar livligt och sätter å sin sida gränser och anlägger måttstockar".

"I er uppblåsta snygga medelmåttighet känner ni inte igen en avgrund ens när ni ramlar rakt ner i den, säger Erika till Klemmer. Aldrig sätter ni er på spel! Ni kliver över vattenpölar för att skorna inte ska bli våta".

"Erika bröstar sig med att hon inte har några känslor. Om hon en gång måste erkänna en känsla, så kommer hon inte att låta den segra över sin intelligens".

"Förhoppningsvis kommer han inte ikväll, imorgon kan han komma, men inte idag, eftersom Erika vill se den gamla Lubitschfilmen. Det har mor och barn glatt sig åt sedan förra fredagen, ty då utkommer alltid programöversikten för nästa vecka. Den emotses i familjen Kohut med större längtan än den stora kärleken, som ju inte får visa sig".

"Sedan en kort tid tillbaka plundrar kvinnan sina så länge outnyttjade klädförråd, för att ännu häftigare vara eleven till behag. Det här måste få honom att falla och det här också! Överallt häpnar man och lägger märke till hur hon gör för mycket av det goda och gräver för djupt i sminkburken".

"Modern går nu utan mat till vardagsrummet och sätter på färgtevens beständiga lockelse extra högt, för att dottern i sin skamvrå ska ångra att hon valt det haltlösare av två nöjen".

"ALLT kan han få, men inte pengar, beslutar familjens finansminister som redan imorgon ska ändra koden till sparbanksboken. Lösenordet ska inte längre vara Erika."

"De små människorna i TV kan när som helst utraderas med ett tryck på knappen. Deras öde skulle då äga rum obesett, vilket modern inte har hjärta till. Hon tittar med ett öga".

"Natten är inom kort förbi, snart anmäler sig dagen med obehaglig klarhet och besvärande fågelrop"

"Kvinnan är glad åt sin kärleksseger och hoppas på en pokal. Hon kommer att ställa denna i sin nya egna bostad på en hedersplats bredvid blomvaserna".

"Den ömsesidiga kärleken är när allt kommer omkring ett undantagsfall, för det mesta älskar ju bara en, och den andra är sysselsatt med att fly från det så långt benen bär."

"Ytterst får kvinnor väntar på den enda rätta, de flesta tar första bästa. Erika väljer den sista som kom, och han var faktiskt den bästa av alla. Ingen kan överträffa honom!"

"Modern hänvisar uppröt till att främmande egendom skadas, närmare bestämt hennes! Modern drar därav slutsatsen: Försvinn ögonblickligen och så fort ni kan".

"Dovt klatschar hand mot ansikte, modern bakom sin dörr vet inte vad som händer, men hon gråter av upprördhet och planerar ett av kvällens talrika steg till det redan halvtömda likörskåpet, den lilla husbaren."

"Hon erbjuder en ovanlig syn, som gjord för att fly människor. Folk drar sig inte för att stirra. De fäller anmärkningar medan de vänder sig om. De skäms inte för sin åsikt om kvinnan, de uttalar den. I sin oknäppta halvkorta klänning växer Erika upp till full höjd och ger sig i hård tävlan med ungdomen. Överallt klart synlig ungdom skrattar öppet åt lärarinnan. Ungdomen skrattar åt Erika på grund av hennes yttre. Erika skrattar åt ungdomen på grund av dess inre som saknar rätt innehåll. Ett mansöga signalerar till Erika att hon inte borde bära en så kort klänning. Så vackra ben har hon ju inte heller!"

"Harmlöst är detta sår, bara smuts och var inte hamnar där".

4 days left till my European Tour kicks off in Stockholm!

2011-11-20T17:11:00.002+03:30

Ecstatically Excited =):

Performance dates and places:

NOVEMBER 24 7 PM - STOCKHOLM - Improvisation & Co, Hagagatan 48 Entrance Fee: 80 SEK for those with less, 100 SEK for those with more - Tickets sold at entrance please come atleast 15 mins before 7.
NOVEMBER 28 7 PM - MANCHESTER - Platt Chapel, 186 Wilmslow Road, Entrance Fee: 3-5 pounds
NOVEMBER 29 7.30 PM - LONDON - Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, Entrance Fee: Free (Tips are welcome!!)
DECEMBER 2 9.30 PM - BERLIN - Theater Spiel Raum Space at Bethanien, 2b, Mariannenplatz, RANTS & SHOUTS FROM WORDY TRAMPS, spokenword and live music show extravaganza, hosted by LADY GABY
DECEMBER 20 7 PM - GOTHENBURG -Kulturhuset Blå Stället,
Angereds Torg 13 - Entrance Fee: 60 SEK for those with less, 80 SEK for those with more.

(Uppsala november 12th already performed). Dates in Leipzig and/or Amsterdam may be added in the near future. If you want "In burning - In bashing back - In burning" to come to your city/venue please contact alexander.chamberland@etc.se
--------------------------------------
IN BURNING - IN BASHING BACK - IN BLOOMING - A SPOKEN WORD AND PERFORMANCE ART-MUSICAL BY ALEXANDER ALVINA CHAMBERLAND

”Those who have suffered understand suffering and thereby extend their hand, the storm which brings harm also makes the grass grow fertile” – Patti Smith

”Sometimes all reflective human beings struggle with feelings of emptiness and everything being meaningless. Does the realization of deep oppression and all the darkness in the world require suicide? No, it requires revolt!” – Quote from the play

A personal account on processing being raped in a society that says it will ruin your life and regaining – and gaining new – strength. Through yourself, through support, through solidarity, through SCREAMING, through activism. Riot Grrrl meets queerfemme-inist performance art meets dark musical. Featuring music by Bikini Kill, PJ Harvey, Le Tigre, Hole, Christina Aguilera, TLC, Nina Simone, Diamanda Galas, L7, Amy Winehouse and CocoRosie. The production is in English. Co-director Angie Negin Rad. Photo: Idios. Length: 70 minutes

* trigger warning since the play features the reenactment of a sexual assault

The following is a clip from a scene in the production in its raw, unfinished beginning stages "This little limp wrist turns into a fucking fist":

------------------
ABOUT THE PERFORMER:

Alexander Alvina Chamberland is 25 years old and lives in Sweden, but is born and raised in San Francisco, California. Alexander is an anarchist and queerfeminist leftist-activist, poet, performance artist and writer. They completed their bachelor in gender studies at Lunds University in the spring of 2011.

Alexander is co-founder of The Queertopia Festival and has had article’s publicized in many of Sweden’s largets newspapers (DN, Aftonbladet, Svenska Dagbladet, Göteborgs Posten and Sydsvenska Dagbladet etc) and has taken part in tv- and radio-programs like Lantz i P1, the sex show Ligga med P3, Studio Ett, Generation Z, SVT Debatt, Aktuellt and SVT:s morning program, where they once arrived dressed as a Black Swan. They have performed in Berlin, San Francisco, Malmö, Toronto, Copenhagen, Stockholm and Amsterdam.

PS Vilar rösten gärnet, för jag ska klara av detta. Ska sjunga "You Know I'm No Good" och "Tears dry on their own" och min röst har bara räckt till för basregistret ända sedan jag flög från USA. Flygresor och jetlag och ojämn sömn tär på rösten som fan. Jag vill waila - basregistret blir enformigt. ON THURSDAY THIS GONNA BE ME (eller om jag iaf kommer i närheten av det här är jag mer än nöjd!):

Diamanda + Valerie = VACKRAST NÅGONSIN!!

2011-11-19T15:43:00.001+03:30

Ja! Faktiskt! Det här kan vara en av de vackraste bilderna jag någonsin sett. Nu händer det. Fenomenal total unstoppable!

Is it me or is Amy back... to black?

2011-11-18T22:30:00.004+03:30

Sjöng Rehab på Stödfest för Popkollo på Debaster i Malmö igår.

PS Bloggstatistik är kul. Någon googlade precis på: "Madonna sex alexander chamberland". För att klargöra - Madonna och jag har inte haft sex. Jag skulle däremot tacka ja till hennes strap-on varje dag i veckan. Jag bryr mig inte om hur kapitalistisk eller kommersialiserad hon är, hon är Madonna och det är RESPEKT #BurningYearningForMadonnaToJustifyMyLove

Now I'm headin out cuz it's friiiiday. If I stay at home the world might end or even worse I might miss out on something. Don't wanna miss out. Must go out. Very important. I have that tattooed on my forehead "don't miss ouuuut, must stress out, must go out".

Good happy not sappy love songs.

2011-11-17T13:01:00.000+03:30

List of good happy love songs: Get Up – Sleater-Kinney, Beautiful Son – Hole, This is Love – PJ Harvey, Cat on the wall – PJ Harvey, You Said Something – PJ Harvey, Good Fortune – PJ Harvey, Big Exit – PJ Harvey, PJ Harvey – Harder, I’m a Bitch – Meredith Brooks, Men in Love – Gossip, Cyndi Lauper – Time after time, Ani Difranco – Little Plastic Castles, Courtney Love – Hold on to me, Good Friday – CocoRosie, Could We – Cat Power, The Triumph of the heart – Björk, New Radio – Bikini Kill.

Conclusion: For me good love songs say nothing about ”It’s just you and me” and are usually high energy – more about the energy that the rush of emotions and lust that romance can give you than gushing about ”I’ve found someone to complete me and spend the rest of my life with”=icky and nothing I’m interested in either in life or in song. Held a discussion on relationship anarchy in Lund today and concluded that COMMUNITY must take the place of the individual, the twosome-couple or the nuclear family as the base of society - and in that community their is of course space for individuality and community is much more stable than twosomeness, nuclear families and individuals ever could be.

"come on now the police aren't gonna save you, they're part of the problem that society gave you, locking up a black man for whistling in the wind, you see a mirage when you call the cops your friend"... "arrest you for whoring than rape you in the car, it's time we point a finger at who the real criminals are"... "So I stay awake almost every night a pen in my hand and in the other a knife, cuz I'd rather be scared and fight back, than be some dicks babe, maid or wife. I DON'T CARE HOW WE GET IT BUT WE'LL GET IT SOME DAY. I DON'T CARE HOW WE GET IT, BUT WE'LL GET IT SOME DAY, I DON'T CARE HOW WE GET IT, BUT WE'LL GET IT SOME DAY, I DON'T CARE HOW WE GET IT, BUW WE'VE GOTTA GET IT SOME DAY!"

Miljöpartiets heteronormativitet, Courtney Loves fantastiskhet och Det är synd om männen!

2011-11-16T14:30:00.001+03:30

Alltså den här artikeln Miljöpartiet skrev i Aftonbladet på fars dag, Pappor så får ni ligga oftare. Det är ju bara så illa på så himla många sätt. Ja, jag vet att det inte är de som satt rubriken, men innehållet står de för och där utgår de från att alla män är heterosexuella och att "jag får ligga oftare" är ett argument för att få cis-killar i heterorelationer att stanna hemma med barnen mer. Alltså - vad är det för bild av (hetero)manlig sexualitet de reproducerar "BRRRÖÖÖÖÖÖLLLL JAG SKA VARA HEMMA MER MED UNGEN FÖR DÅ FÅR JAG LIIIIIIGGGGGA OFTARE". BLÄ. Jag oooooorkar inte!

Att polisen försöker kasta ut Occupy Oakland igen är upprörande, men på lördag blir det mass day of action igen. Can't stop won't stop.

Det är kul att en massa cis-män upprörs storligen av SCUM-pjäsen. Vill att de ska sjunga Donna Summer's "Enough is Enough is Enough". I think they need to find their inner-diva's. Också kul att flera av männen bytt profilbild till Andy Warhol. Eller för att citera Valerie Solanas på facebook:

"Andy Warhol - the only person ever to have been shot in the name of feminism. Feminism such a violent and trecherous ideology that MEN, poor poor oppressed men, must be protected from!!!! Especially white straight able-bodied men, they are the ones who have it the hardest. You're all martyrs, I feel SO SORRY FOR U. I weep for you. I cry myself to sleep for you. I listen to Bob Dylan and my tears pour out for you.

You fuckers don't know what art and metaphor is unless it's Andy Warhol eating a hamburger and calling it "Great Art"."

DN skriver om ojämställdheten i musikbranschen, men det visste vi redan, men det är bra att det uppmärksammas igen. Nu är det dags att det görs något drastiskt dock. Här är en bra och intressant intervju angående det.

Och så har vi Courtney:

Everytime Hole does a new concert and clips are put up on youtube I am reminded of how much I love Courtney Love and punkrock. And how my life changed when I heard her scream "FUCK YOU!" for the first time and how it's never been the same since and how she taught me that Bitch and Queen IS the same thing and how she taught me that taking off your clothes in public can be more about being an uninhibited amazon with agency with no shame and less about being a singular victim of objectification from the male gaze.

"This song is called Reasons to be beautiful it's about being ugly - ON PURPOSE" - Ohhh, do I dream about performing this song live some day!!!:

På tal om det tänkte jag berätta lite om mina nyårsplaner. För två år sedan gjorde jag och en av mina bästisar en aktion på en restaurang där jag var dragqueen och hon dragking och vi spelade upp ett heteronormativt par - till jag gjorde uppror och skällde ut den heteronormativa mannen. Nu i år ska jag vara dragking och hon dragqueen. Och det blir medelklass dragking, dragqueen. En tråkig grej i dragkingvärlden är att det ofta är arbetarklassmaskulinitet som drivs med - medelklasskvinnor som draggar till arbetarklassmän - det är inte helt oproblematiskt.Så jag ska dragga till hipsterkille. Roligast är avslutningen dock. Jag sätter på låten Dirrty med Christina Aguilera och börjar strippa mycket feminint och så blir vi utkastade. Hurrah. Det ska bli kul.

"In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" European Tour! (Sthlm, Manchester, London, Berlin, Gbg)

2011-11-14T16:19:00.002+03:30

Performances dates and places:

NOVEMBER 24 7 PM - STOCKHOLM - Improvisation & Co, Hagagatan 48 Entrance Fee: 80 SEK for those with less, 100 SEK for those with more - Tickets sold at entrance please come atleast 15 mins before 7.
NOVEMBER 28 7 PM - MANCHESTER - Platt Chapel, 186 Wilmslow Road, Entrance Fee: 5 pounds
NOVEMBER 29 8 PM - LONDON - Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, Entrance Fee: Free (Tips are welcome!!)
DECEMBER 2 - BERLIN - Theater Spiel Raum Space at Bethanien, 2b, Mariannenplatz (more details coming soon)
DECEMBER 20 7 PM - GOTHENBURG -Kulturhuset Blå Stället,
Angereds Torg 13 - Entrance Fee: 60 SEK for those with less, 80 SEK for those with more.

(Uppsala november 12th already performed). Dates in Leipzig and/or Amsterdam may be added in the near future. If you want "In burning - In bashing back - In burning" to come to your city/venue please contact: alexander.chamberland@etc.se
--------------------------------------
IN BURNING - IN BASHING BACK - IN BLOOMING - A SPOKEN WORD AND PERFORMANCE ART-MUSICAL BY ALEXANDER ALVINA CHAMBERLAND

”Those who have suffered understand suffering and thereby extend their hand, the storm which brings harm also makes the grass grow fertile” – Patti Smith

”Sometimes all reflective human beings struggle with feelings of emptiness and everything being meaningless. Does the realization of deep oppression and all the darkness in the world require suicide? No, it requires revolt!” – Quote from the play

A personal account on processing being raped in a society that says it will ruin your life and regaining – and gaining new – strength. Through yourself, through support, through solidarity, through SCREAMING, through activism. Riot Grrrl meets queerfemme-inist performance art meets dark musical. Featuring music by Bikini Kill, PJ Harvey, Le Tigre, Hole, Christina Aguilera, TLC, Nina Simone, Diamanda Galas, L7, Amy Winehouse and CocoRosie. The production is in English. Co-director Angie Negin Rad. Photo: Idios.

* trigger warning since the play features the reenactment of a sexual assault

The following is a clip from the production in its raw, unfinished beginning stages "This little limp wrist turns into a fucking fist":

------------------
ABOUT THE PERFORMER:

Alexander Alvina Chamberland is 25 years old and lives in Sweden, but is born and raised in San Francisco, California. Alexander is an anarchist and queerfeminist leftist-activist, poet, performance artist and writer. They completed their bachelor in gender studies at Lunds University in the spring of 2011.

Alexander is co-founder of The Queertopia Festival and has had article’s publicized in many of Sweden’s largets newspapers (DN, Aftonbladet, Svenska Dagbladet, Göteborgs Posten and Sydsvenska Dagbladet etc) and has taken part in tv- and radio-programs like Lantz i P1, the sex show Ligga med P3, Studio Ett, Generation Z, SVT Debatt, Aktuellt and SVT:s morning program, where they once arrived dressed as a Black Swan. They have performed in Berlin, San Francisco, Malmö, Toronto, Copenhagen, Stockholm and Amsterdam.

Inblick i Jetlag.

2011-11-13T21:02:00.003+03:30

Så här blev mina senaste statusuppdateringar och allt detta på så kort tid. det går fort när tröttheten är extrem:

Alexander Alvina Chamberland
I’m like one of those cats who usually walks away totally uninterested from people who want to pet them. Here kitty kitty kitty. Oh whatever, I’m busy doing my own thing! There are a few exceptions to this rule though. If I love you, I really do, in a totally independent and non co-dependent, but very affectionate way.

Alexander Alvina Chamberland
I scraped my knee while performing last night. Blood was dropping on the stage. I had fun.
Like · · Share · 15 minutes ago
Tobey Lennox and Johan Galvatron Sundell like this.

Alexander Alvina Chamberland
‎#Temporary femme-gains and losses from patriarchy. Busses only go less than once an hour in Uppsala in the morning, so although I was really early (got up at 5.45 AM) I ended up missing my train to Malmö. I screamed and cursed at Uppsala while running through it’s streets. On the first train I was able to make it without having to pay for a new ticket. Modest femininity means it’s easier for people to see you as a victim and not a threat. Especially if they read you as being cis-female. Minus point to me. Plus point that I was modest in my femininity. If you are too femme and seen as a slut than no strangers want to help you unless they want to sleep with you. I know cuz I’ve been ”too femme” and seen as a slut so many times and the only people who’ve ever wanted to help me have wanted to fuck me. And than the second train – they didn’t want to help me, despite my crying and telling them about jetlag, getting up really early, impossibly bad public transportation in Uppsala, and having litte money. When I got back with the ticket I exploded into a bitter raging rant using every swear-word in the book and in between the swear words saying things like ”Where’s your empathy and where’s your solidarity”. I was The Badmouthed Slut again and everybody in the train looked at me with shock in their eyes and contempt in their brains that they were trying to hide but didn’t hide very well at all. My hair a mess, my make-up smeared all over the place – there are only two ways for straight (in both it’s meanings) society to handle this – either I get victimized or demonized. In general I do prefer the latter, but I really couldn’t afford the ticket…
Like · · Share · 11 minutes ago

Alexander Alvina Chamberland Race and class also have a big role in this. I remember reading in the paper once about three white 18 year old girls, who at least were percieved very heteronormative in their gender presentation (feminine but not too much), who had a project where they travelled around Europe for free. And all the strangers helped them and drove them around and gave them a place to stay and were so helpful. And the whole article had ZERO analysis about this only being possible because of being white, middle class and percieved heteronormative cis-females.
7 minutes ago · Like

Alexander Alvina Chamberland
In my play I say ”The police won’t protect us from male chauvinist pigs, cuz the police ARE male chauvinist pigs (If I’m in a diplomatic mood I say ”usually are”, HA!)”. Further evidence of my point: Number of times I’ve been beaten by police: 3, Number of times I’ve been beaten by queerphobic-guys: 3. IT’S BREAK EVEN!!! But yeah, it’s true, getting beaten feels much better when it’s sanctioned by the state and you KNOW that hitting back is going to put you in jail.
Like · · Share · 6 minutes ago
Alexander Alvina Chamberland PS I didn’t ask the police who beat me what their opinion of queers is. I probably don’t even want to hear it. PS 2 Yes I know I'm hemmorrhageing status-updates, that's what happens when you're jet-lagged out of your mind, have barely slept for 5 nights and have insisted upon pushing yourself to give a lecture and a performance 2 days in a row right after travelling. Tomorrow is work at home day though ♥ Day after tomorrow is another lecture. This time relationship anarchy! But now, bath and black power mixtapes and than sleep - cures everything.
2 minutes ago · Like

Vackert om när Britney rakade av sig håret.

2011-11-10T00:25:00.002+03:30

Alltså. Jag älskar det här!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

PS Kimmie och Ru Paul:

I told you I was trouble/I'm the one your mother warned you about.

2011-11-09T12:52:00.002+03:30

I told you I was trouble/I'm the one your mother warned you about. - Very satisfied with strands of cut off hair, discarded wedding veil and the crushed skull and bit off dick of white straight rich oppressive cis-dudedouche - after stripping twice, simulating clitoral-masturbation, crying, vomiting, being raped, bashing back, crawling around on the floor screaming. Dancing, singing, laughing. (All intrical parts of the plot, not just for shock value). Photo: Mikael Slavik — at Stockholms Stadsteater.

Sneak preview for those of you who are planning on coming to my spoken word and performance art-musical "In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" in the coming weeks ;-) ♥ @ Uppsala, Stockholm, Manchester, London, Berlin, Göteborg.

Oakland - Sexarbetares rättigheter - burning, bashing back, blooming

2011-11-08T12:16:00.006+03:30

Detta:

Och detta:

Och på lördag kväll blir det tillbaka till detta. Inte så illa det heller, trots allt. Och alla former av eventuella ångestrop ang. att vara lite så smått förälskad i en eventuell person som förekommer i eventuella andra bilder i det här inlägget kommer utan problem ut tack vare att Amy Winehouse's "You Know I'm No Good" och "Tears dry on their own" förekommer i repertoaren ;-). Jag har alltid varit mycket för långdistansrelationer i alla dess finaste relationsanarkistiska former för att det underlättar för självständighet - men halvvägs runt jordklotet är ju lite i en klass för sig. Men jag är en katt. Dvs, Det löser sig. Hej Malmö på torsdag och hej Uppsala och In burning - In bashing back - In blooming på lördag.

214 new billionaires.

2011-11-07T11:52:00.004+03:30

Time to celebrate that there are 214 new billionaires this year!
OMG DON'T BE JEALOUS, I AM SOOOO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!!!!
American patriotism with it’s sea of made-in-china-flags waving in the breeze
Blizzard blown away today by the masses of millions of marching law-breakers
Stirring up feelings of who am I to feel so free?
Boundless leaflets on liberation
And nobody who looks at me like all they want from me is to blow or be blown
I stop the urge to turn over every stone to see if there is a poisonous snake under it
And embrace my inner-stew of infinite tenderness of lioness motherhood blended with the reckless rage of a suicide bomber.
The lofty sense of injustice and the mulish, reckless streak that brews in Someone Small who has been bullied all their lives by Someone Big.
I grew to do exactly nothing to avoid quarrels and confrontations.
And I refused to separate the personal from the political
I never did since I was a kid.
Though it took me awhile to stop longing to become Evita Peron.
Never to lead or be led
Never to wed
Except for with the burning constant passion of bright red
And the revolution as my boyfriend, husband, child, wife, cat, rat, dog, floral gift, ring or anything considered appropriate on valentine’s day.
Capitalism likes to appropriate romance
Ransacking all the clothes available and digging too deep into my make-up.
I knew I did it wrong, but I could never bring myself to care.
I preferred to graduate from the Queer Arts school of failure.
A place where you can’t get Straight A’s.
To be famous, rich and successful in this world is not an admirable thing.
(I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT, CAPITALISM IS ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I KNOW I LIKE IT!)

Tonight saw the sight of the revolution.
And I’m not just alright, I am better than fine.
Because never before in my life has revolution felt so real.
It just went out of the theory books and into practice pouring out of the bookshelves and into the streets Make it straight back to the history books.
Even I can’t find it in myself to be a bitchy bitter bird when we’ve just shut down the 5th largest port in the agent Empire.
(I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT, CAPITALISM IS ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I KNOW I LIKE IT!)

Peace is not the answer if it serves as a comfortable bed for brutal injustice
Disturbing is fine
Awakening is the goal
And you must be disturbed in order to be awoken
Now that you’ve awoken why would you ever fall asleep again?
Finally the difference between work and actually producing something important for society is becoming exposed.
And somehow someway we may just end up with a 4 hour work day
(I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT, CAPITALISM IS ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I KNOW I LIKE IT!)

Life starts when it stops imitating tv.
This wasn’t listed in the tv-guide
Now nuder than news
Rise up roar and soar self-sufficient whores
The system will fail under all this righteous rage
As will the police providing only fire to a fuel of fury.
We’ve already understood enough to be afraid and still we fight
Resistance is futile only now with roles reversed.
History’s heels will never be allowed to return and rewrap us in its old, scarred pelt dragging us back to where we were.
For their defense is a mere goal-keeper!
As the arab spring turned to the US autumn turned to the global revolution turned to I won’t renew my credit card.
Unlike clothes, money never went out of style.
Until it did.
No Money.
Just Change.
(I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT, CAPITALISM IS ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I KNOW I LIKE IT!)

MY PERFECT WEEKEND!!

2011-11-05T23:38:00.002+03:30

Friday: FUNFUNFUN, PARTYING PARTYING YEAH!!!

Saturday: Sodomy day!!

Sunday: GLOOMY

Obeskrivligt.

2011-11-04T21:12:00.007+03:30

Kan inte riktigt beskriva de senaste dagarnas känslor. Occupy Oakland är verkligen det vackraste jag sett i hela mitt liv i aktivistväg. Revolution out of the theory books and into practice, out of the bookshelfs and into the streets - making it into the history books! Det är ditåt hela occupy-rörelsen bär. Men Oakland känns som platsen där rörelsen är som mest förankrad i hela communityt. Vilket är helt fantastiskt. Generalstrejk och 40 000 (en del säger 100 000!!) i mass-civilolydnads aktion för att stänga ned hamnen, USA:s femte största hamn. Det är HELT otroligt. Samtidigt ockuperades även ett stort hus i centrala Oakland som tidigare var tomt. Det börjar bli vinter och framförallt på ställen där klimatet är kallare än den är i Kalifornien måste vi börja förflytta oss inomhus.

Och det finns skäl för rörelsen att växa även i Sverige. Ny forskning visar att en procent av befolkningen i Sverige äger uppemot 40 procent av resurserna. Hella Hella Occupy, the system has got to die! Ett system som snedfördelar resurserna så snett är inte rätt och är inte den enda vägen.

PS: Den 5:e december kommer en ny skiva med osläppta Amy Winehouse-låtar.

Elfriede Jelinek

2011-11-04T01:57:00.002+03:30

Alltså. Jag älskar ju henne:

"Erika vill se den gamla Lubitschfilmen. Det har mor och barn glatt sig åt sen förra fredagen, ty då utkommer alltid programöversikten för nästa vecka. Den emotses i familjen Kohut med större längtan än den stora kärleken, som ju inte får visa sig. Erika plundrar det sedan så länge outnyttjade klädförrådet för att ännu häftigare vara kärleksobjektet till behag. Det här måste få honom att falla! Och det här också!! Överallt häpnar man och lägger märke till hur hon gör FÖR MYCKET av det goda och gräver FÖR DJUPT i sminkburken.
Modern sätter på färgtevens beständiga lockelse extra högt, för att dottern i sin skamvrå ska ångra att hon valt det haltlösare av 2 nöjen. Och tänk om han bara är ute efter Erika's pengar? ALLT kan han få, men inte pengar, beslutar familjens finansminister som redan imorgon ska ändra koden till sparbanksboken. Lösenordet ska inte längre vara Erika."

Alltså detta är ju så bra: "Överallt häpnar man och lägger märke till hur hon gör FÖR MYCKET av det goda och gräver FÖR DJUPT i sminkburken." De flesta känner nog tyvärr igen sig i den här stördheten som kallas begärsleken. Urgh. LÅT MIG FÅ GÖRA HUR MYCKET AV DET GODA JAG VIIILLLL OCH LÅT MIG FÅ GRÄVA SÅ DJUUUPT I SMINKBURKEN SOM JAG VIIIILLLLL ;-)

Att stänga ned USA:s 5:e största hamn!!!

2011-11-03T12:21:00.003+03:30

Det här är helt galet. Vi lyckades. 40 000 pers. Jag fick tillfälle att träffa Angela Davis. Occupy Oakland. Men nu. Polisajävlarna. Tårgas och gummikulor. But they (OAKLAND AND ALAMEDA COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT) will not fucking succeed as they just provide fire to our fuel of fury!!!! THE SYSTEM IS GOING DOWN!!!:

Watch live streaming video from globalrevolution at livestream.com

Oakland General Strike!!

2011-11-03T00:55:00.001+03:30

Alright, I'm on my way to the strike tonight at the sight of the revolution. Never before in my life has revolution felt so real. You can really feel it. I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT, CAPITALISM IS ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I KNOW I LIKE IT!!! ♥ The Occupy movement is creating a revolution and in Oakland you can really feel it.

FUCK YEAH!!!! (Get off the Internet, I'll meet you in the streets, get off the internet, destroy the right wing! - however there are ways on the internet to destroy the right wing aswell, but the streets are the best place for revolution, internet is just a great tool to spread the word)

I can haz general strike? YES WE CAN!

2011-11-02T01:12:00.003+03:30

Äntligen! Imorgon smäller det! Generalstrejk i Oakland! Första generalstrejken här sedan 1946! Hamnen stängs ned kl. 19! Tomorrow - Oakland and than EVERYWHERE ♥ We can haz bring down capitalism!

Och Angela Davis-tal till Occupy Wall Street - SÅ JÄVLA GRYM "A General Strike - that is revolutionary":

PS The Occupy-Movement and why LGBTs should care.

PS 2 Alltså - Twitter. Kan ej ta det på allvar. Det känns som bloggar har en viktig roll i en anarkisering av samhället, men twitter med sina one-liners. Kan bara tycka det är roligt - en rad här, en rad där, länka till en tidningsartikel här och en tidningsartikel där - och används nästan enbart av mediefolk och kändisar. Går nog mest in för att driva med forumet bäst jag kan.

Twitter.

2011-10-30T23:32:00.001+03:30

Ok. Jag har skaffat twitter-konto. Men jag kan uppenbarligen inte ta det på allvar.

Här är länken till mitt konto: I don't care who you are where you're from, what you did as long as you follow me on twitter.

Halloween.

2011-10-29T23:19:00.002+03:30

PS: Idag har Occupy SF marsch

PS 2: Statistik om inkomstskillnader i USA, som visar att en procent lagt beslag på cirka hälften av resurserna? Demokrati? I think not.

PS 3: Occupy Oakland ska ockupera hamnen.

PS 4: Hippiesarna får ge sig med sin trummcirklar.

MATNYTTIGHETER!!!!

2011-10-29T06:49:00.000+03:30

The Guardian om medicinsk forskning kring könsroller. Förstås lite essentialiserande, som medicinsk forskning alltid är, men ändå intressant.

Bra artikel i ETC om hur kapitalismens vinstmaximeringen påverkar och försämrar journalistiken och arbetssituationen för oss som frilansar.

Apropå frilans så håller jag på att skriva en artikel som angränsar till det här ämnet. Madonna är en av personerna som lärde mig att sexighet kan komma med agens och feministisk empowernment. Of course it can and it shouldn't be stigmatized.

MADONNA OCH KAREN FINLEY!!! SÅ HIMLA FANTASTISKT, BLIR SÅ LYCKLIG:

Occupy Oakland återockuperat, generalstrejk, Occupy SF ej tvingat bort, ockupationsrörelsen vidgar sig. Inget kommer någonsin mera att bli sig likt

2011-10-28T00:30:00.007+03:30

Alltså. Jag vet inte riktigt hur jag ska beskriva mina känslor kring vad som håller på att hända i och med Occupy-rörelsen. Det här är det största som hänt i protestväg sedan 60/70-talet och det underbaraste är att det inte handlar om en enskild sakfråga - utan om en bred systemkritik mot vårt system mot kapitalismen. Det här kommer att leda till en förändring - frågan är bara hur stor förändringen kommer bli och min förhoppning är att det blir en klar och bred systemförändring och att kapitalismens tidsålder ska vara slut. Klart är i alla fall att inget någonsin kommer att bli sig likt.

Och i OAKLAND - över bron från San Francisco förekommer det vackraste jag någonsin har sett i aktivistväg och i förrgår kanske det brutalaste som jag har sett i polisväg. Igår återtogs dock Oscar Grant-plaza av över 2 000 personer. Och borgmästaren har sagt att ockupantrörelsen får stanna - det blir ingen ny polisraid. Borgmästaren och polisen tabbade sig rejält och hade ingen aning om hur starkt stödet för rörelsen var i communityt. Ett stormöte med 2 000 deltagare beslöt sig senare i koncensus för att utlysa den 2:e november till massaktionsdag och generalstrejk. Flera fackförbund i Oakland är med. Det här är fantastiskt. Bortom ord. Bortom ord.

‎"the police wracked more violence in a couple hours, destroyed more property and hurt more people than Occupy Oakland did in two weeks. Keep in mind, there was no riot, no emergency, no move made by the protestors other than to refuse to leave. It was the city of Oakland and the police that initiated the violence and chose its time."

"It’s hard to vote for politicians that gas and shoot your friends."

Läget för den här människan är fortfarande kritiskt. Polisen skapade en krigszon ur en fredlig protest.

Igår skulle polisen raida även Occupy San Francisco. De misslyckades dock eftersom den folkliga mobiliseringen var så stor. Nu blir det massdemonstration på lördag kl. 15 och igen nästa lördag kl. 15.

I Sverige beskriver Maria-Pia Boëthius Occupy-rörelsen på ett alldeles fenomenalfantastiskt och inspirerande sätt i den här artikeln i ETC. För det hela den här rörelsen är alldeles fenomenalfantastiskt och alldeles inspirerande.

Också viktigt i en sådan här rörelse är kritik inom rörelsen. Här är en artikel med kritik mot Occupy Wallstreet gällande vithets privilegier och rasism. Viktigt med självkritik. Och här är också Occupy Oakland ett väldigt intressant exempel. De har också haft problem med detta, men har diskuterat det och funnit strategier för att försöka motarbeta strukturer gällande white supremacy. Locket läggs inte på och inte heller är Occupy Oakland en rörelse som består nästan enbart av vita.

Vi ses på barrikaderna - inom oss själva och ut i samhället. Revolutionen är på väg - inom oss själva och ut i samhället. Även till er i Sverige. ORGANISERA ER!

Columbus day and fleet week simultaneously strike San Francisco

2011-10-26T22:47:00.001+03:30

Ok. This isn’t as good as the previous piece I wrote, which is the best poem I’ve written in a LOOOONG time. But I am happy to be writing at the "Ariel" speed of fury. Not The Little Mermaid. Inspiration point reached, but dare not say peak. It can and will get better. And this gets the best soundtrack. M.I.A. - Paper Planes. Antony & The Johnsons – Atrocities. PJ Harvey – The Glorious Land. (and as to what I’m doing - so did Kathleen Hanna, so did Valerie Solanas, so did Courtney Love, so did Diamanda Galas. It doesn’t make me any less of a feminist):

Billions of dollars spent
While billions of people starve
And thousands of people stare at the air
For the view of the aerial acrobatics
Planes that spew out a red, white and blue set of fossil fuels
Perfection at the quest for destruction
The priviledged applaud the airforce flights sights and sounds
That for the oppressed means fear for certain death
And forced flight.
Never fail to miss a call for celebration.
Not a bomb will fall here
Nothing for us to fear
The killing is done in gods name
And our bombs are the Shit Of God
You should be happy to be lapping up the shit of such a great man
Such a great land
Such a cause to celebrate
Celebrate - Massmurders of past and present
Celebrate – The present of the right to ask, to tell, to kill
The thrill with gays in the army the parades sure will be fabulous
Celebrate – The starting date of death by the millions
The great man that was not so great and the great land he did not discover
Celebrate - Colonization uncovered
And Celebrate – The Shit Of God
The agent of death
That worse things have happened
And that worse things keep happening
And while the military is spending its time strutting it’s stuff
I’m busy hustling for bucks
Pretending to be sexy, cuz my life is my research and I need the money
Hey mister man this lap dance requires a fee
Because I’m tired of being objectified for free
So I’m gonna take the money I make
And own my own oppression
Playing the pretty role to please
Stigmatized to death by most everyone
Talentless blonde bimbo slut bare butt must mean bare brain
Censor the body and endorse the murders
I hate that we create the picture that it is always working with sex and never working to kill that shatters the inner-soul.
Sexuality is essentially holy however taking human life is just human nature!
A round of applause for those with the skill to kill
The more the merrier and the medals will weigh heavy
Heavy as oppression
And yes, I would prefer to not dance within a system of patriarchy, capitalism and lookism
My white ass middleclass background means it’s easy for this not to be forever
Sitting in the park watching the celebration of the great height of the war fight flights weighing heavy with billions of dollars spending oppressing billions of people
My scissors come out ready to once again cut my hair
The beauty standard faltering falling softly in small strands to the ground
Spreading out in the air to meet all those faces that stare.
Now at me - not the fleet in the air.
No round of applause. No laughter. No smiles.
But ooohs and aaahs and awes of a different kind.
Do you mind mind-controlling myopia at all?
The repelling celebrating screeches to a halt.
And I feel a bit lighter.

Occupy Oakland raided, now we fight back!

2011-10-26T10:19:00.004+03:30

Today Occupy Oakland was raided by 500+ cops who shot people with rubber bullets and used tear gas. 105 people were arrested. Later in the night a huge march took place and once again, tear gas was used from the police. I was there and got tear-gassed. But you know I'm femme and tough and still going strong. Soon Oscar Grant-plaza (named by Occupy Oakland after an african american man who was killed by Bart (the metro between SF and Oakland)-police while running away cuz he didn't have a ticket), the site of Occupy Oakland, will be taken back!! And the police were total assholes. And unsuprisingly racist. One of them said "can you even spell pathetic" to an african american-guy who called the police pathetic. The turn-out was amazing and the sense of community - WOW. In blocked traffic people were honking their horns to support us - not out of irritation at the blocked traffic. And when we walked by houses and yelled "join us", many people ran out of their apartments and joined the march.

In a few days the numbers of police surrounding oscar grant-plaza will not be as many and it can be taken back!!! There are too many people involved in this action for it not to succeed ♥

I wonder what Swedish media, both mainstream and progressive, has written about this and the Occupy Oakland-movement?

BASTARD COPS!!!!

A poem a day keeps the head-doctor away./The pause-button or getting the job done.

2011-10-26T00:17:00.013+03:30

Where is the pause-button on life?
Why is there only stop and go
Remote controls have so many buttons
Even rewind and fastforward
Maybe it would be best to brainlessly lose myself in the world of television
Meanwhile
When I say I don’t know how to live
It’s not my body I’m talking about
It knows the morse-code of I am I am I am all too well.
My heart beats stubbornly
And the air passes in and out of my lungs simply because it is the only thing they know.
My mind though is a place of constant chaos
From nihilistic nagging to endless euforia.
The unatainable uncontainable ambition to be... Everything, to achieve greater understanding.
Boundlessly jumping from one mutually exclusive ledge to another.
Sometimes falling.
Sometimes climbing.
Nine lives - I still have some more bruises to take but must save two in case of birth and crucifixion.
In my head hope and bitterness fight eachother each and every day.
Who will win?
With bitterness you can defend most everything – even killing
Nihilism says it doesn’t matter anyhow
Reason says it will never change anyway.
Politically I force myself to divorce hope from reason
Yes, my heart is stubborn. It doesn’t beat with pride for being alive.
Not here. Not in this world where worse things keep happening.
Adding to the heap of the atrocities of history
Of your story.

Besides play and stop my control over my own life is not immense.
We do not own the remote or the television or the 164 channels with nothing interesting or relevant going on.
I do not wish to press stop.
I just want to press pause to stop the pressure
Finger to the button
Not one last act of desperation
That prematurally turns my lifetime over to the abyss of eternity
I call my backpack the abyss
I open it up looking for the thing I need
And suddenly its contents are spread all over the sidewalk spewing out into the road
I risk my life to chase after what is most important
And in the end I may find what I was looking for
But by than anxiety and self-hatred over the proposed supposed loss will have exhausted me
And I have no use of what I’ve found anymore because all that overwhelms me is a silent sense of relief at the verge of a precipice of great grief.
Forever alone vs.
Forever autonomous
Forever secure vs.
Forever free
A free feral cat vs.
Just a mutt
When mapping out my life a partner is never part of the picture
Life-partner, life-picture.
I’m just too self-sufficient to cave in, too self-centered to compromise
But really I am not
But truly I am a much better performer and writer than lover
But really sometimes I feel as though I’ve never said anything of importance or written anything that is any good.
But truly my greatest fear is to never be able to write again – because than who am I?
And really if what I write really is no good - than who am I?
But really It’s hard to love if love has always been your greatest dissapointment.
And I can’t do with security if it holds me back
I’ll be so bored, just like in front of that television.
164 fucking channels and still, obviously, I am bored.
And I can’t do your good ole’ 9 to 5 job
Oh but I could, I could if I just stopped overanalyzing everything till I’m too tired to function.
But how could I?
And why should I?
Well well, you see, there I go again.
I am not afraid of the dark
It is so much more exciting not seeing what is in front of you.
And it is exciting to be free from fear – to go where most people won’t even set foot
I like the light
But I always ended up getting overheated at the least and burnt at the worst.
I am a better creator when I am sad or going mad
Does that mean I should stay that way?
Occupy Oakland raided by 500+ cops today
Does that mean society will stay this way?
It can’t be, because I can’t take it, but not because I can’t take it because I am not the center of the universe
I become an utter bore everytime I begin to believe that I am the first person to experience these different types of anxiety.
I do not understand
How two people brought up the same way can be so different
I try my best to respect what I do not understand and can not feel
Your sense of and longing for family
What society defines as love is marriage.
Love and marriage go to together like a horse and carriage.
I’ve never rode a horse and carriage.
Nor do I intend do.
Marry.
My longing.
It isn’t for family.
And only sometimes for community.
I am too preoccupied with freedom.
I want to be alone?
I had no real friends till I was 17 or 18.
You do develop peculiarities and incredible inner-strengths in that strange circumstance.
Maybe that is where the difference between us lies.
You shall marry.
I shall never know.
Final destination.
Last call.
Biological clock telling me I must breed.
They do not exist.
This here is all there is.
Whatever this is.
What did I miss?
My head tries once again to spin around it all again.
The sense of community and justice – I love it.
It must be the solid foundation from which we all spring from.
Nuclear families are too small to be the base
Center’s of the universe are even smaller.
Community shoots, bursts and kills no people
But ego-bubbles of all shapes, sizes and sky-rises.
Till in the community we will find room for individuality beyond caring solely about what is better for me and my family.
This time it will be society.
I can do with forever alone as long as I have no one screaming in my ear ”better together”.
Click on cliché: Respect and solidarity.
System change may change my inner-workings
And my productiveness will not have a thing to do with self-destructiveness.
And my productiveness won’t even be this burning necessity because I will be satisfied with my surroundings.

You know, there is much more to a fire than just destruction.

Timeless and severely missed.

2011-10-24T23:39:00.000+03:30

‎PS: "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." --Maya Angelou (a quote that says a lot)

(Un)Occupy Oakland

2011-10-22T18:13:00.002+03:30

”A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Inscribed poetry and music will save your life
And organizing communities can change everything
From Dialogue District
Via Endisms road
To Free health care plaza
Libraries and free kitchens and dance-a-thons
Crammed to the rafters
With rows upon rows of tents
It’s not a festival
It's a revolution
And it sure as hell is dancing
And the politics beyond partying
Beyond hippies and hipsters alike
Fixed gear bikes, ray bans, expensive organic food
Or scenes and status and apolitical performance art
Art and activism shall not be playgrounds for those who have everything.
The revolution will not be televised
And it will not be led by – but may include - the white middle class
Or people posing as working class with flanell shirts and purposefully ripped jeans.
A fashion statement to be well-seen in the scene
There will be none of this
When we are busy with intersectionality beyond theory and put into action
Discuss internal conflicts and power dynamics so we will dispose, learn and grow
Angela Davis says don’t trust the system – cuz the system is laws written by the rich and carried out by police busy with racial-profiling and putting poor people in prison.
When really it is capitalism that is the crime
And now it’s blatant flaws are exposed
The emperor, the one percent, holds half the worlds clothes.
Two Earthquakes
The earth shakes twice in one day
Awakes the revolution
She is on her way
To shake off the emperors clothes
And leave us with the job of justice
To distribute it all equally.
No ifs or buts – it is just a must.

Don’t know if I’m satisfied with this one... As usual I have trouble portraying positivity and optimism and writing from a happy space instead of one filled with anxiety, angst, rage, frustration, anger, melancholy, atrocities etc (Where poetry really saves my life). Also harder for me to write about politics that aren’t directly derived from my personal experiences of oppression/supression/repression. But I’m getting there. Politically I want to be able to create fantastic art from all emotional spaces. Because in the world there may be very much darkness, but also some light and as a writer I want to be able to tell compelling stories both from the darkness and the light.

Bästa Occupy

2011-10-21T22:13:00.002+03:30

Alltså. Occupy Oakland är så fenomenalfantastiskt underbart. Flyttar in dit under helgen. Det känns som intersektionalitet bortom teori och satt i praktik. I aktion. En av de mest imponerande uppvisningarna av aktivism som jag någonsin sett!!!! Och stort är det!! Jag ska iväg till ett café och skriva mer om det NU!

PS Detta är underbart: Who Did you Exploit today? Ett barn intervjuar folk som arbetar på Wall Street och vid 2.14 visar Diamanda Galas-potential!!!

Occupy Oakland!

2011-10-20T22:30:00.002+03:30

Idag ska jag till Occupy Oakland, ett skitgrymt initiativ. Och jag har blivit preliminärt bokad för att köra föreställningen "In burning - In bashing back - In blooming" på El Rio i San Francisco den 2:e november ♥