One of my favorite artists, one of my favorite directors (Sofia Coppola), one of my favorite mainstream actors (Kirsten Dunst), a really good movie (Virgin Suicides), one of the best lines (Male doctor to Cecilia, the youngest sister after her first suicide attempt: "You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets." Cecilia: "Obviously doctor, you've never been a 13 year old girl.") and a great song that I've been thinking a lot about lately - "Sullen Girl".
Growing up I was always considered a Sullen Girl and than I learned that appropriateness is considered more important than honesty and that sadness and anger are deemed unfathomably off-putting and if you're feeling this way remember to keep it private. And than I got involved in radical politics where anger is accepted, but sadness, not so. And this... makes me... Sad. Because it has to do with patriarchy and the viewing of femininity and masculinity - if you slit your wrists you are a tragic victim, there's no agency in the action, if you kick down a telephone booth - cool and tough. I'm not advocating for self-harm - I'm just saying the issue is complex and very understandable and the stigma and "weak-victim"-stamp isn't helping anyone. Neither is the societal contempt for weakness.
People think there's something extremely wrong when you're sad, but it's a healthy and honest emotional response to a lot of bullshit and lately I often feel the need to retreat into my own world when "there's too much going on" around me and often times it is so much calmer "under the waves in the blue of my oblivion" and through allowing ourselves to feel everything we can sparkle and shine ever so brightly when we surface to the sun ♥. I need to embrace my full spectrum of emotions to create art and in the long run - to live. - Psyche-radical activism makes my life better to live! LOVE
The weekend: Anti-fascist demo - By screamsinging like Diamanda Galas my friend and I were louder than all the fascists in the world and than I stripped in front of the police and bit into their barrier-tape and they told me to grow up, and than later two cis-straight male punks in their masculine punk-outfits thought that I was lost and should be at the pride parade instead - cuz I am femme and therefore can't be like politicized'n'stuff. And today Björk warrior make-up and Björk concert 4 free and the power of Volcano's ♥
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