And I ran into a dumbass guy last weekend who wouldn't take a no which prompted me to write this little CONSENT 101 about the situation: "If you tell someone that they can come home to you cuz they seem too drunk to even find their own way home, you probably shouldn't try to fuck them. If that person says "I'm too drunk to consent to anything"-don't try anything when you get in bed. Do not try to coerce them by saying stuff like "but I really like your body", "Please, I'm so horny", "Just a blowjob" etc. Today I feel empowered that even when I'm really drunk I've learned how to set and defend my boundaries clearly and aggressively. I pushed him away and yelled: "Go to the bathroom and jerk off, fucker!" I am also angry at guys who let their ego come before someones consent, he should have listened to my first no."
And found two great quotes on rape by the Phenomenally Fantastical Fiona Apple:
"I just feel that it's such a tragedy that so many people have to bear the extra burden of having to keep it secret from everyone else. As if it's too icky a subject to burden other people with and everyone's going to think you're a victim forever. Then you've labeled yourself a victim, and you've been taken advantage of, and you're ruined, and you're soiled, and you're not pure, you know. If I'm in a position where people are looking up to me in any way, then it's absolutely my responsibility to be open and honest about this, because if I'm not, what does that say to people? It doesn't change a person -- well, it does change a person but it doesn't take anything away from you. It can only strengthen you. It has made me so angry in the past. Like I wanted to say it to somebody. I really wanted somebody to connect with, somebody to understand me, somebody to comfort me. But I felt like I couldn't say anything about because it was taboo to talk about."
"My problem was that I felt ashamed of feeling sad or angry. Now, I don't hide my vulnerability in my lyrics. There's no way I was going to get raped and not get something out of it. I learned about power and hope and forgiveness. I like who I am now and I wouldn't be who I am if that hadn't happened."
For the last few years I've been contemplating about if it is Berlin, New York or San Francisco I want to move to for a long term in a couple years when I leave Sweden... Right now Berlin seems most likely. San Francisco is nice, but it feels a bit stagnant and is expensive, I like Oakland more, but it's too small. New York is in movement, energetic, driven, but also expensive, entrepreneur:ish, a bit snobby and extremely capitalist-people just accept and think it's ok to be working 13 hours a day. Berlin is near so many people I love in Sweden and provides a good platform for the stuff I want to do, it is the place where the most radical and political underground art is coming from at the moment - I'll deal with the femme-phobic queer scene and the rigid germans - I just have to keep my focus clear so the lazy and party all night-attitude of many in the city doesn't mess with my ambitions of soaring to revolutionary heights with my writing and art.
I'm also revisiting Jamaica Kincaid, check out some of the great quotes from the book "The Autobiography of my Mother".
And ohh, CocoRosie: